MoscowMAXIMUM- Nightclub news and reviews of the best nightlife in the world

Review: New Club Garage (Гараж)

2009-09-06T18:10:00.008+04:00

Opening Hours: Restaurant/Cafe- 24/7, Nightclub- Wed/Thu/Sun (from midnight), Fri/Sat (afterparty)
Category: Mid-Range
Feis Kontrol Rating: Bar/Cafe: Low 1/5, Nightclub: Moderate- 3/5
Address: 8 Brodnikov Per.
M: Polyanka
Phone: +7 (495) 238-9745
Website: www.garageclub.ru

Garage is Back! (kind of). The new Garage is set to open on September 9, and while retaining some elements from old Garage, it's certainly a far cry from the dank (but loveable) basement of the old Garage.

Garage aims to be a comfortable place where patrons can come for great food, drinks, and kalyans 24/7 at reasonable prices. On club nights patrons can decide whether to chill on the expansive terrace, or kick it up in the downstairs nightclub.

Garage takes the symbiotic relationship of the old Garage+Cafe Pushka that occupied the space above the Garage until 3 years ago and combines it into a single venue.

The club is located just over Kameniy Most, less than a kilometre from the Kremlin (even closer than the old location, although I'm not sure if that is a plus), near Metro Polyanka. Despite my "never south of the River" mentality (Sorry, First, Rai, Fabrique, etc), it's incredibly easy to get there, especially from the burgeoning club region near the White House (another bizarre juxtaposition).

Upon entering Garage, the first room you come to is a bright cafe-style room with several windows, perfect for a quick snack or coffee during the day, but a little awkward at night, when patrons opt for the more comfortable terrace or bar rooms, or head straight to the club.

The second room is the main bar/restaurant room, also called the "graffiti room", in honour of the large grafitti mural of sports cars in a (you guessed it) garage. All seats are couches in the form of car seats, and the tables are carbon fibre. The old Garage radiator fans are backlit and spin in the wall, and the red brickwork of old is now whitewashed. The metal lampshades now hang in a new, clear format, giving the room a strange sense of familiarity to those who knew the old Garage. A long bar with barstools caters to patrons who prefer to watch the bartenders in action making the new repertoire of delicious cocktails.

Passing through an almost-hidden corridor at the back of the bar will bring you to the terrace, which appears almost as another world. A light, airy combination of lounges, curtains, and a truly relaxed atmosphere make this my favourite place to chill with a kalyan in the new Garage.

On club nights the entry staircase will cause old Garage flashbacks- Garage has carefully relocated the original metal staircase and railings from the old Garage, and the only difference is the colour scheme. The deja-vu is enhanced once you reach the dancefloor, the coloured squares on the dancefloor, bar height and lights are all reminiscent of the Garage of yesteryear. The colour scheme is largely metallic, with a solid steel bar and a shattered-glass effect underneath.

Off the dancefloor, a large private room with cosy exposed brick can hold up to 6 table reservations, and another corridor leads to another two rooms with private bar and toilets, perfect for parties. Both are equipped for karaoke. Completing the below-ground offering are additional unisex bathrooms.

The menu is a mix of hits from the old Garage, and some popular offerings from the restaurant in the location that new Garage displaced. Typical Moscow-style Russian/European offerings are plentiful, but notable are some delicious foreign touches, the spicy thai salad, fajitas, empanadas, tom yum soup, burritos, chicken wings and more make for some tasty diversions! Surprisingly, Garage's sushi and other Japanese offerings have received rave reviews from customers.

The biggest difference in the offerings of the new Garage is the focus on new and interesting cocktails, and quality kalyans. The bar manager Sasha is freshly imported from one of Bulgaria's top cocktail bars, and has written a creative mix of specialty cocktails for the club, and injected imagination and fun into the cocktail process- ask for him to come up with something unique for you! Another noteable addition are the cocktail shakers- 1000 rubles for 500ml of a special mix available in five colours, served in your own shaker with shot glasses- try the legendary Garage red shaker!

Pre-opening, it's tough to evaluate how Garage will succeed in attracting both old and new clientele- necessary since the new location is over 3x larger than the old. The club has been open in a test regime for 3 weeks, and initial impressions have been positive. Perhaps the biggest thing in Garage's favour is the wholesale migration of virtually the entire team from the old Garage, so the new venue already seems familiar, and it certainly a comfortable place to pass the time. As a restaurant and 24/7 cafe and place to chill out, Garage certainly seems to have a bright future, and as a nightclub- Stay tuned!

At best, the new Garage strives to be the old Garage, but updated and made more comfortable. At worst, it's an eclectic mix of styles and environments with an overriding techno/automotive theme that don't quite click together. Time will tell which will prevail!

For the review and pictures of the old Garage, please click here.

Disclaimer: MoscowMAXIMUM is involved with Garage, so while I've tried to make this review as objective as possible, some bias may remain. So there! :)

Lonely Planet, Russian Poets, and MoscowMAXIMUM!

2009-07-02T15:27:00.005+04:00

I am delighted to report that MoscowMAXIMUM has received yet another literary accolade! A Pulitzer, you ask? Even better- I have been quoted on the first page of the new Lonely Planet Russia guide!

Not only has Moscow's Nightlife been listed as the 2nd Greatest Highlight of Russia, the first and third spots quote Pushkin and Chekov, respectively! For anyone who may have accused this site of lacking literary depth, take note!

I would, however, like to disclaim responsibility for the selection of venues suggested for "Nightclubs". These are targeted at Lonely Planet readers, who typically represent a slightly different target market than readers of this publication, but all venues listed should offer a fun night out, depending on your tastes!

Review: Forbes Club (Форбс Клуб)

2009-06-13T14:44:00.006+04:00

Note: At the time of publishing, Forbes has been "temporarily" closed and management is rumoured to be being replaced by Deluxe Promo (Opera, Soho, etc). Stay tuned.

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Opening Hours: Fri/Sat 11pm-last customer
Category: Ultra-Exclusive, Nightclub
Feis Kontrol Rating: High - 4/5 (tempered by size of club)
Address: Maroseyka, 2 (entrance from alley next to Lubyanskiy Proezd, 15)
M: Lubyanka, Kitay Gorod
Phone: +7 (495) 234-3322

Website: http://www.forbesclub.ru/

In a city packed with Megaclubs, Forbes is an attempt to create an Uberclub. A cavernous underground labyrinth, Forbes is crammed with superlatives, whether it's the 28 VIP tables, 11 bars, 4 levels of VIP, 10sqm bathroom cubicles replete with their own plasma, couch & facing double toilets, for that couple who just can't be apart for even a few minutes.

What Forbes often isn't crammed with, however, is people, and when it is, they all seem to be standing around waiting for something to happen. Because unfortuntely, in these crisis-ridden times, the club designers seemed to have overlooked the need for patrons to have fun and enjoy themselves.

Kind of like its sense of fun, Forbes can be hard to find. An original entrance off Maroseyka was boarded up, and now patrons gain access via a narrow lane off Lubyanskiy Proezd, 15. Other than the obligatory carpark of Cayennes and a cluster of stilletto-clad sparkles, nothing indicates you've arrived at Moscows answer to Hades. A glance inside the vaulted tent, however, shows Feis Kontrol specially imported from Soho, letting would-be patrons know they've bitten off more than a weekly jaunt to Propaganda.

The Feis's legendary strict door policies are hampered by Forbes sheer size, meaning pretty much all comers are considered, and given Moscow's current financial state, even foreigners are not considered the scum they once were at Moscow's top doors.

Once through the entrance, you find yourself in a black-panelled antechamber, with everyone wondering which of several small corridors head where. The answer is that one heads to bathrooms, one to another coat-check, and the club complex itself lies down the staircase to the left.

I say club complex, because if you get bored (easily), once of the lost rewarding things to do in Forbes is explore the various subterranean tunnels branching off the main room, and seeing how many hidden bars you can find, and how many various levels of VIP security you can elude.

The club itself though, as you enter down the staircase, is visually impactful. A sizeable dancefloor/stage area is ringed by several layers of VIP tables, each more VIP than the next. The decor is best described as "shiny black", as the overall black & silver interior and abundance of steel & chrome reflect all that glitters (which is plenty). It's as if the designers of Famous had a tonne of interior fittings left over, and decided to use them on a place 5x the size.

The sound system is impressive, and it pumps out a steady mix of Russkiy pop house, or whatever one-hit-wonder happens to have been lured to the club that evening.

Drink prices are high, but not excessive given the nature of the club, and overall, on a good night with the right attitude, Forbes can indeed be fun.

As Moscow's newest "it" place, Forbes is still busy with Moscows "in" crowd, but a lot of them have already reverted to Pacha or Soho.

If you're intent to head to a huge club and pay that much for drinks, I'd rather be at Rai, since the visuals are so much richer and they don't take themselves as seriously. Unfortunately, I don't think many of Moscow's glitterati would agree with me.

Garage to Rise Again

2009-05-22T17:35:00.005+04:00

For those of you who (like me) have been mourning the passing of Garage, there's great news for you- Garage will be re-opening in a new (undisclosed) location in June!

The new multi-level Garage will be, like its predecessor, aimed at a fun crowd who want a fun, comfortable location with great food and cocktails 24 hours a day. There will be a spacious and comfortable summer terrace in a courtyard shaded by trees and remote from the road, a large DJ Cafe/Restaurant with lounges, a long bar, and an updated design, while still staying faithful to some elements of the old Garage. Garage has imported specialty cocktail bartenders to serve all your favourite cocktails, and many more, and will have a Kalyan attendant 24 hours a day.

For those longing for the cosy underground haven that was the old Garage, you can venture downstairs Wednesday through Sunday to the nightclub, where once again, the owners have sought to update the design, while staying faithful to the original Garage. Here another bar will ring the dancefloor, and there are several rooms for private (or not-so-private) parties.

MoscowMAXIMUM will post more closer to the opening, but if you'd like to be kept informed of the pre-parties, official opening, and other events, please send an email with your full name, phone number, and email address to garage@moscowmaximum.com.

(Yes, I know I've been hopelessly behind on posting updates for other club openings/closings, but MoscowMAXIMUM has been busy, I promise some comprehensive updates soon).

Spring 2009: A New Dawn, or Worse To Come?

2009-04-03T01:15:00.005+04:00

From the slew of new club openings in the last couple of months (and more to come), you'd think that Moscow is oblivious to the financial crisis ravaging the globe. Yet even sunken into the depths of the softest plush sofa, high as a kite, nestled between the breasts of some of your favourite Tyolki, you can't help but notice that the crowds are thinner, people are drinking less, the aggression levels are higher, and girls are preening closer and closer to get noticed and bought a drink. As a (male) friend recently commented, "It's amazing how much better-looking I've become since the crisis hit".

Other than far more girls willing to talk to you without the promise of a new Bentley, there are other benefits to the crisis for those still looking (and who can afford) to hit the Moscow scene:

Far more high-end venues and fewer patrons mean that Feis Kontrol is at an all-time low
For those saving in dollars or Euros, everything is 40% cheaper
Cheaper and available club tables
Fewer traffic jams in front of the hot spots
Promoters have even become polite

Recent club openings include the megaclub Pacha, the even bigger Forbes, bar/clubs such as Bar 8, Dukhless, and Gusatnikoff (a Novikov club!?), bars such as Bonnie & Clyde, and re-openings like Grafit. The trend of ever more specialised locations such as LaMur (after-hours club opening at 6am) continues, and there's never been a more diverse selection of music styles and venues. The only issue is, there just aren't enough dollars or people to make use of all these new venues, leaving weekends somewhat hit & miss, as people sometimes stumble(but more often not) into the venue that happens to be the hotspot of the night.

In an environment such as this, things can get nasty. Soho Rooms was hit by three drug raids and a power outage in three weeks, rumoured to be the work of somebody determined to put them out of business.

There have also been a handful of closings. Aside from Garage (rumoured to be reopening in a new location by June- watch this space!), Arma 17 suffered an blaze eerily close to the anniversary of Dyagilev, and Simachev lost its summer terrace (in February).

In this rapidly changing environment, where are the hot spots?

On the off-nights, Technika Molodezh has been the recipient of Garage's legendary R'n'B nights, kicking a good scene from about 2am on Wednesdays and Sundays. Karma Bar still pulls a good crowd on Sunday evenings for their R'n'B event. Thursday nights are still packed at Opera, although the format has shifted from their traditional R'n'B party to a more creative house mix by some of the top Moscow & imported DJ's, and Ninja is still rocking it for those cool enough to have cards.

Fri/Sat is harder to call. At the top-end, Soho Rooms has lost some of its crowd, but still hosts a fun party and will be the space to watch as summer approaches and its roof deck opens. It also has the hottest afterparty in town following Garage's demise, and the party kicks on till well after 10am. Krysha is still packed, but the crowd has long ago lost its edge. However, it should recover with increasing daylight on its legendary roof. Opera is still the most fun place to party on Saturdays, Rai has lost its buzz, Barkhat is packed with the under-20 crowd, and Famous continues to languish if you're not on a VIP table. Most is pretty much dead in the water despite a change of Feis.

Of the new venues, against all odds Pacha seems to have hit its stride and fills its considerable capacity Fri/Sat. Forbes' cavernous space and 28 VIP tables have a glass-half-empy feel, but it will be worth seeing how it evolves. Bar 8 ably fills the big shoes Bar 7 left, but it's remote location means its considerable pre-party appeal is muted.

On the pre-party circuit, for the dinner crowd Kalina Bar is always packed, as is Shatush and Blackberry. For bars, Bar 8, Kitchkok, Simachev and Chapurin all have a great vibe, although the close proximity of the last three mean that none are as packed as before.

Overall, Moscow's nightlife scene offers more variety than ever before, but unfortunately a lot of new options hit the market at an unfortunate moment. Venues will need to innovate to stay alive, and with more new clubs set to open, things are going to get interesting.

Other interesting innovations will be the introduction of a high-quality, reasonably-priced NY-style brunch at Kitchkok in coming weeks.

Stay tuned for more news and reviews to hit your screens soon!

Max

Garage Closes: The End of an Era

2009-01-20T19:05:00.005+03:00

After 10 years of 24/7 existence, Club Garage finally closed it's doors last Sunday following a debaucherous party that was more akin to the final days of Rome than anything regularly staged in a Moscow club.

Love it or hate it, Garage has been a staple of Moscow club life for almost as long as there have been clubs in Moscow. It's legendary R'n'B nights on Wed and Sun drew a cross-section of Moscow's denizens: from billionaires to students, prostitutes to tourists, the regulars sometimes united only in one thing- their universal "Garage Love".

This small packed basement had been under constant threat of closure for the prior three years, since the building above it had been vacated and slated for redevelopment. The fact that this has finally come to pass in the midst of our "Krizis" and when all other development in Moscow has been halted almost comes as a cruel joke. Reportedly, the site will house a new 5-star hotel, which as much as MoscowMAXIMUM loves Garage, in all honesty is probably a better use for this prime Pushkinskaya location.

And what now for beloved Garage? Stay tuned, as rumours abound of a move to Polyanka, Kuznetsky Most, or yet another location, and a hopeful reopening in the months to come.

Until then, the battle-cry of "Garage Love Forever" will live only on in those infernal red shaker shots, available wherever the Garage tusovka congregate throughout Moscow.

For the original Garage posting and review, please see here.

Aquapark Kva-Kva: And Now For Something Completely Different

2009-01-07T18:01:00.006+03:00

It's Christmas Eve, after midnight, snowing, and approximately -15C. How do we find some fun? Did someone say "waterslide"?

The logical answer, of course, is to head several km outside of Moscow to an (indoor) waterslide park, where there is a wild party with DJ's, dancing girls, and of course hundreds of people enjoying the waterslides, tubes, jacuzzis, wave pool, waterfalls, and of course- the music and alcohol.

Those looking for a example of the delightful randomness of Moscow could do worse than to lie back in the wave pool letting a fountain wash over you and observe the undulations of the dancers clad in club lingerie surrounded by shrieking young quasi-Muscovites hurtling down the python-like multicoloured tubes and consider how this all came to pass. Parties at waterslide parks are not exactly a new concept, but to do so beyond the city limits from 1am on Xmas morning, having transported the essence of a Moscow club to this godforsaken location, in the middle of a Russian winter? That's true Moscow innovation.

Aquapark Kva-Kva is located 2km past the MKAD on Yaroslavskoe Shosse, inside the XL shopping centre. It's a multi-story indoor waterpark housing no end of entertainment, with multiple caves, tubing pools, fountains, jacuzzis, and of course the requisite multi-story waterslides. My personal favourite was the wave pool surrounded by various fountains and jacuzzi's, which was the perfect location to dance, (attempt to) surf, or just observe or socialise with the hordes of enraptured water-clubgoers.

From this vantage point, the whole scene looked something like a Full Moon Party in Thailand that had somehow been kidnapped by giant orange and green snakes, and dumped in a snowy wasteland, the tropical location, cheap drinks, and lack of full moon at least somewhat offset by the abundance of scantily-clad devushki, the likes of which would inspire riots on Ko Phi Phi Beach.

The parties here are held fairly regularly, look for upcoming events on a site such as nightparty. The logistics of finding the place, getting tickets, entry, and sorting out lockers, deposits, etc, mean that I would strongly recommend having a competent Russian-speaker with you.

The crowd tends to be very young, and doesn't quite match the aesthetics of central Moscow, and the line at the bar means getting drinks is an absolute pain. However, it's a delightfully random night out, and if you're bored of the regular scene and are looking for something to remind you why you live in this wonderfully crazy country, I highly recommend it.

Review: Kitchkoсk (КичКок)

2009-01-06T18:06:00.005+03:00

Opening Hours: 7 Days, 11am-12am (Sun-Wed), 12pm-last customer (Thu-Sat)
Category: Bar, Lounge, Restaurant, Nightclub
Feis Kontrol Rating: Moderate - 3/5
Address: Petrovka Ulitsa, 21.
M: Tverskaya, Teatralnaya, Trubnaya
Phone: +7 (495) 642-0358
Website: http://www.kitchkock.com/

This difficult-to-spell location is one of the best openings of late 2008 and has already proved itself a massive success in its opening couple of months, especially as a weekend pre-party, with a creative DJ spinning original and creative variants to a packed house of a moneyed, older crew, who seem at home in the Petrovka triumphirate of Kitchkock, Simachev, and Chapurin (or even the hapless Most). Despite some name similarity to the famous filmmaker Hitchcock, the only similarity that I can see they share is a British (in Kitchkock's case: punk) theme that weaves its way throughout the bar.

Kitchkok's discreet entrance on Petrovka, next door to karaoke bar Dzhelsamino belies the expansive interior that awaits at the top of the stairs, itself promising much through a combination of exposed brick, chain handrail, and sparkling floor. The interior of the main level of this lounge/cafe/club is an attractive blend of comfortable couches in a faux-antique style, intriguing artwork (think large stuffed red vinyl bears), and the modern black-and-metal touches that seem to be required of all Moscow locations (think "Escobar" done right). The main room is bisected by a staircase that leads to an all-white VIP table & couches upstairs, and another small golden VIP room for private "events" and narcotics usage.

The room opens out after the staircase, avoiding the low-ceiling claustrophobic feel that afflicts many new venues in Moscow. The two-storey space is hemmed by a bar on one side (and another under the staircase), the DJ booth on another, and another staircase leading to another VIP table balcony. Adjacent to the staircase are the bathrooms, the small size of which is offset by the tasteful (and occasionally hardcore) lesbian porn on show above the men's stalls- making your aim into the stall a little difficult if you linger here too long.

It's not entirely clear yet what Kitchkock wants to be when it grows up. The restaurant is certainly tasty and reasonably well-priced, but this isn't a place that comes to mind simply for dining. It's the weekend evenings that really take off, with a crowd that comes after 10 to dine, dance, and drink to creative remixes (of anything from classical music, to 80's (U2?), to funk and modern house), and then move on to other locations after the clubs open, meaning Kitchkock is the perfect option to fill those times once you've finished dinner and before the clubs really start kicking in.

Kitchkok is managed and promoted by Zeppelin, meaning several of the managers (and Feis Kontrol) will be familiar from Most. The (kilt-clad) staff is friendly, the service (especially on off-nights) is efficient, and the prices are reasonable. My main criticism of the place is the tiny entryway at the top of the stairs and inefficient coat-check, making it a pain to get in or out of Kitchkock with any sort of efficiency.

Overall, Kitchkock is an excellent new addition to Moscow's nightlife, filling a needed niche with great design, ambiance, service and pricing, proving that even in these "Krizis" times, a great new place will find a welcome in Moscow.

Moscow Girls & The Financial Crisis

2008-12-25T15:14:00.013+03:00

It's official, the global financial crisis has hit Russia. Never mind the markets tanked six months ago, these days even nightclub dancers are asking me about "nash finansoviy krisis" (our financial crisis)- As far as I'm concerned, if even these illuminated bastions of global commerce have now figured out that something's going on, we're all fucked.

But never mind that commodity prices are in the toilet, and the oil price that keeps Russia afloat on it's ocean of rubles (30 to the USD anyone? Do I hear 40?) is plumbing new depths not seen since 2005, the most important question is yet to be addressed: How is this impacting the richest of Russia's resources- the Devushki? (Russian girls).

As part of MoscowMAXIMUM's mandate to provide hard-hitting journalistic coverage of what matters most to Muscovites, I took it upon myself to see how the patrons of Moscow's hottest venue Soho Rooms is handling the crisis via a sample of photos taken from just a single night (20 December, if you're interested).

"I used to be a broker at Renaissance Capital, but now they call me DJ Krisis."

"Crisis? What Crisis? I'll always have Botox."

These days some girls will even accept an Audi instead of the mandatory Porsche Cayenne from prospective sponsors. Market forces at work!

Or better still, take Nastya and Katya for a 2-for-1 deal, they're apparently happy to share an apartment, wardrobe, and hair stylist.

"Got coke? My dealer is now a Zhiguli taxi driver."

"I know, I know, but he's younger than the last one, and I hear he has US Dollars!"

Thankfully the dancers are still doing their stuff, distracting poor patrons from the harsh realities of everyday Moscow life... Wait a second- this IS everyday Moscow life!

The guy on the left used to be a property oligarch, the guy on the right was his banker.

Feis Kontrol is getting so lax, they're even letting this dude into the club.

"My husband converted all his holdings into gold six months ago, and all I got was this lousy dress with a fake bow!"

The alluring "Sponsor Dance", caught on film.

"Don't mind me, I'm just a tourist, and can pay Euros!"

Apparently Soho converted the cigar bar into a "Passion Room" (since there wasn't enough of that already in the bathrooms).

Thankfully more dancers than ever before, on the mantlepiece, in the windows, under the chairs.

"Please leave me and my accountant in peace, this is our last night before fleeing the country."

He looks more worried than she does about where their next drink is coming from.

Yup, just had to make sure- still plenty of hot girls making funny faces.

And since I know that most of you are just interested in pictures of hot Russian girls (yes, I do track the Google search terms used to find this site), here are some more pictures just for you:

For even more, (not to mention the hysterical soundtrack- Remember: "Soho Rooms Is Good For Your Image") check out www.sohorooms.com.

Merry Christmas everyone!

New Club Opening: Pacha

2008-12-15T15:19:00.004+03:00

On December 27th, the "official pre-opening" (don't ask me, I just report this sh$t) party is to be held at the new Pacha Moscow club, located at 10 Nikolskaya Ulitsa, Phone: +7-495-798-5777,
http://www.pachamoscow.ru

Apparently the "official opening" party isn't until 23 January, however the club will be in "pre-pre-opening" from the 20th Dec (go figure).

This club has been "about to open" since last winter, but a combination of a merry-go-round of investors, delays in approvals, and the unfolding "Krisis" has delayed it until now.

For those of you who live under a rock, Pacha is a global club brand based out of Ibiza, with clubs in around 15 countries. Pacha Moscow will be big, over 1,500sq metres, and capacity for more than 900 people. Apparently, of its 30 boxes, 15 will be "super-VIP"... Hmmm... I think I can see where this is going.

As with anything that's been this hyped for this long, I'm expecting to be disappointed, but look forward to checking it out!

Max

New Domain Name- moscowmaximum.com

2008-12-12T15:20:00.002+03:00

MoscowMAXIMUM has jumped on the technological bandwagon and we now have our own domain!

You can update your bookmarks to:

http://www.moscowmaximum.com

It still redirects to blogspot, but anything to make your lives easier

Max

Review: Evento (Эвенто)

2008-12-10T20:13:00.000+03:00

Opening Hours: 7 Days 6am-last customer
Category: Mid-Range, Restaurant, Nightclub
Feis Kontrol Rating: Low - 2/5
Address: Varvarka Ul., 3, Gostinniy Dvor
M: Ploschad Revolyutsii, Kitay Gorod
Phone: +7 (495) 234-3322
Website: http://www.eventoclub.ru/

A delightfully (if somewhat awkwardly) designed restaurant/nightclub space over two floors, with multiple restaurant decors in separate arched alcoves. Cute multiple bars, cosy dancefloor with hot dancers, great chillout area, and low drink prices. The only thing missing is the people. On several visits around 2am, the only patrons were some bored-looking models who were paid to be there.

Review: Escobar (Эскобар)

2008-12-10T20:00:00.000+03:00

Opening Hours: Tue-Thu 5pm-5am, Fri/Sat 5pm-9am
Category: Mid-Range, Restaurant, Pre-Party, Post-Party
Feis Kontrol Rating: Low - 2/5
Address: KrymskiyVal, 3/2
M: Oktyabrskaya
Phone: +7 (495) 727-5551
Website: N/A

A brand-new venue that styled itself to be a restaurant, club, pre-party, post-party venue, but doesn't succeed at any of them.

Unimaginative design, bad service, poor food, badly designed entrance and coat check, non-existent crowd. About the only bright spot is that the drinks are pretty cheap.

Review: Club XIII (Клуб 13)

2008-12-10T19:36:00.001+03:00

Opening Hours: Thu-Sat 11pm-6am
Category: Mid-Range
Feis Kontrol Rating: Moderate - 3/5
Address: Myasnitskaya Ul., 13
M: Chistiye Prudy, Lubyanka
Phone: +7 (495) 628-4747
Website: http://www.clubxiii.ru/

A venerable Moscow institution re-opened in 2006, Club XIII continues to rock Moscow with a fun-loving, mid-range crowd housed in a stunning multistorey converted mansion, with interior marble staircases replete with dancers on overhead swings. Legendary Halloween parties.

Review: Chapurin (Чапурин)

2008-12-10T19:28:00.000+03:00

Opening Hours: Sun-Thu, 10am-1am, Fri/Sat 10am-last customer
Category: Lounge, Bar, Pre-Party
Feis Kontrol Rating: Moderate - 3/5
Address: Kuznetskiy Most Ul., 6/3, Bldg. 3
M: Teatralnaya/Kuznetskiy Most
Phone: +7 (495) 660-5075
Website: http://www.chapurin.ru/

Exclusive fashion designer Chapurin offers his refined view of nightlife in an exclusive but comfortable two-storey, gay-friendly bar next door to Club Most.

Review: Barkhat (Бархат)

2008-12-10T13:07:00.000+03:00

Opening Hours: Fri/Sat 11pm-last customer.
Category: Mid-Range, Megaclub
Feis Kontrol Rating: Moderate - 3/5
Address: Druzhinnikovskaya Ul., 15
M: Krasnopresnenskaya
Phone: +7 (495) 998-2838
Website: www.barhat.biz

Readers know that I will often review a club on its opening night. Some of you have pointed out that this can be unfair, as a club won't reach it's true potential (high or low) until at least a few weeks after it opened. Barkhat is such a club. After its opening, the first couple of weekends were so deserted, and the crowd that was there such a confused mix, that I felt it needed some time to find its niche. The club's design (despite its unfortunate location) had such potential, it would have to come good sooner or later.

Barkhat has now found its stride. A recent visit found it packed to the rafters with a mid-range, fun-loving younger crowd of students, putting it firmly in the league of peers such as Fabrique and Sabotage. Some further leveling is probably required (drink prices are still too high, and there were too many guys), but it has a great buzz and an increasingly dedicated group of patrons which will be essential in the thinning party crowd as the economic crisis starts to really bite.

Barkhat is located in an old movie theatre (still operational) in the location that used to house Club Infiniti. Potential patrons are shuffled into a makeshift pen for selection by (female) Feis Kontrol, reputedly members of the all-girl (think American Idol) group "Barkhat" for whom the club is named. Once through Feis Kontrol, you shuffle awkwardly through security, to the movie theatre entrance, ditch your coat, then angle left, past a lower floor chillout-style bar ("Karamel"), then up some stairs, and into the foyer for the club.

This navigation conveys a contrived feeling, movie posters are stashed in a corner, and folding stands are used to corral traffic. It has a similar feeling to high-school prom, when teachers converted the school gymnasium into an "evening venue" (please ignore the basketball hoops covered by a blanket), awkwardly concealing the building's true purpose.

Thankfully once you ascend the staircase, you enter the club proper- and the lights, smoke, DJ, and drunken people cavorting enable you to start to feel at home. A DJ booth hangs over the bend in the stairs, like a glowing gremlin gesturing you into a House of Horrors (but in the nicest possible way). At the top of the stairs, you can continue forward through this strange lobby-like area where couches, a bar, and bathrooms are located, as well as a branch off into a VIP-area, or proceed right, into the club proper.

The club itself opens out into a cavernous domain, a large stage on the right hosts shows and cavorting dancers, higher podiums house more dancers, a VIP upper level rings a long, narrow dancefloor, which contains (you guessed it) yet another podium for go-go dancers smack bang in the middle. Bars are located on either side of the stage, and VIP tables are crammed into any spare space around the edge of the room.

The club's elitny positioning, design, and drink prices betrays its mid-range clientele, but thankfully they don't seem to care. Cheaper mixed drinks than Opera mean that it's as much fun for a cheaper price, and who cares if the girls (and especially the guys) aren't as good-looking. Barkhat is all about over-the-top fun, and that's what it seems people are here to have.

Review: Black Star Club (Блэк Стар)

2008-12-09T13:15:00.000+03:00

Opening Hours: Fri/Sat 11pm-last customer.
Category: R'n'B, Exclusive
Feis Kontrol Rating: Moderate - 3/5 (depending on your fit with the R'n'B crowd).
Address: Top Floor, Kievsky Vokzal Pl., 2 (Evropeisky Shopping Centre)
M: Kievskaya
Phone: +7 (495) 220-5510
Website: N/A

Moscow rap icon Timati finally opened his own club (after acquiring a taste from his promotional role in the now-defunct Zhara) in late September adjacent to La Terrasse. Having already bitched enough about the access to La Terrasse in previous postings I am delighted to report that access to Black Star is much better with a clearly signposted entrance from street level, a direct elevator ride, and a dedicated lobby.

The Good news: Arriving after having already had a few drinks, you're now going to be actually able to find the place.
The Bad news: Unless you're a (Moscow-style) R'n'B fetishist, you're going to need to have already had more than a few drinks to actually enjoy the place.

My biggest issue with Black Star is that it oozes "shopping mall", with it's rigid design features, uniform height, pre-fabricated walls and roof, despite everything they've done to make it look like a club. But more of that later.

Once you emerge from the elevators, run the gauntlet of Feis Kontrol (new controller these days since summer), and then snake your way left past the (closed) La Terrasse structure, you can head into the small door labelled "Black Star", unless you happen to feel ultra-VIP, in which case you can enter straight into the "White" lounge VIP table area. The main entrance will dump you into the beginning of the long "L"-shaped club, conceptually shaped with a stage in the middle and VIP areas at both ends.

The club is surprisingly big, although the low roof makes it feel much smaller and more cramped than the floor space suggests. A glance across the room as you turn the corner of the bar and the nearby oddly-located but convenient couch reveals what could very well be a mirror (especially given the large mirrored scrolling message boards), but actually turns out to be a deep VIP table lounge.

The decor is a prime example of what I've dubbed "Moscow's Blue Period", where a largely black (or maybe just dimly-lit) interior is accented with polished metal, some type of beaded curtain, and far more blue hue's than previously present in clubs like Dyagilev, Opera or Rai (or maybe it's just my rose-tinted glasses). Blue Period venues often feature a repetitive logo motif, usually with something resembling an out-of-control chevron from the court of France, circa 1740. (the best example of this is Famous, although it looks like Black Star & even Soho have adopted a crest & motto, of all things- "In Good We Trust"- WTF?).

Elements of this type of design (or lack thereof) are prevalent in almost every new venue that's opened in the last six months (eg Famous, Escobar, Kitchkok, Barkhat (although these last two without the blue)), and of course Black Star. That said, it's not particularly objectionable, it's just not unique- and therefore the other elements of the club have to work that much harder to stand out.

This is where Black Star falls down. With mediocre design, moderate-highly priced drinks, and a crowd of little other than young paid models hanging around until about 3am, the only somewhat unique aspect is its music. Black Star is billed as an R'n'B club for Moscow's burgeoning R'n'B scene, and so the music pays some homage to (mostly American) R'n'B artists, mixed with a healthy wallop of the usual Moscow house. If you like it- then Black Star is going to be an attractive venue for you. If you don't, there's no reason to be here.

Fake Currency & General Awareness Warning

2008-12-02T12:28:00.000+03:00

Effects of the rapidly deteriorating economic situation in Russia are starting to be felt on the street. In the last two weeks I've seen and heard of more fake ruble notes than I have for the past few years.

The most commonly counterfeited notes are the 500 and 1000 ruble bills. Fakes I have seen range from basic colour photocopies, to highly sophisticated notes with raised printing and watermarks. The cheaper ones are a favourite of taxi drivers, but the better ones are good enough to have been handed back as change in some of Moscow's top nightclubs and bars (can't comment on intentionally or not) .

Moscow nightclubbers, please beware. Check all bills you receive, and if it doesn't look or feel right, raise your concern immediately BEFORE putting the bills in your wallet.

Also, the weekend saw the first drug raid of a major club (Rai) that I'd seen or heard of in some time. I don't know if this presages an increase across the city, or whether the economic situation means that someone didn't get paid off in time, but please be careful. Penalties for narcotic use (or a reasonable excuse for them to be planted on you) are severe in Russia.

Those of you who are regular readers know that I'm not prone to making public service announcements, but please understand that the Moscow nightlife scene is changing rapidly in response to the new economic environment- expect an increase in crime, fraud, shortchanging, underpoured drinks, police checks, unscrupulous devushki, etc.

On the bright side, if you can show evidence you'll be spending money at the bar, Feis Kontrol might go easier on you!

Review: Arma 17 (Арма 17)

2008-11-17T05:10:00.000+03:00

Opening Hours: Fri/Sat 11pm-6am
Category: Mid-Range
Feis Kontrol Rating: Low - 2/5
Address: Nizhniy Susalniy Per., 5, Building 17 (deep in the complex, through the guardhouse)
M: Kurskaya
Phone: +7 (495) 767-7832, +7 (915) 404-0044 (table reservations)
Website: N/A

Massive Techno-heavy party space located deep in the same complex that houses Gazgolder & Gazgallery. Cover charge.

Review: 1171

2008-11-17T05:01:00.000+03:00

Opening Hours: Tue-Thu 3pm-midnight, Fri/Sat 6pm-6am
Category: Mid-Range
Feis Kontrol Rating: Moderate - 3/5
Address: Bolshoy Savvinskiy Per., 12, Building 7
M: Kievskaya
Phone: +7 (495) 764-9275
Website: N/A

A Large, fun club on Savvinskaya (next door to Soho Rooms) which is a fun time on weekends (and a great backup if you get Feised from Soho).

Review: Blackberry (Блэкберри/Черника)

2008-11-17T04:46:00.001+03:00

Opening Hours: 7 days, 11am-last customer.
Category: Restaurant, Lounge, Pre-Party, Exclusive
Feis Kontrol Rating: Moderate - 3/5.
Address: Akademika Sakharova Pr., 10
M: Chistiye Prudy
Phone: +7 (495) 926-1640
Website: N/A

Moscow's newest (and most popular) experiment with high quality food and service at reasonable prices is drawing high-end crowds at all hours of the day. Great pre-party venue.

Venue Contact Information

2008-11-17T04:07:00.000+03:00

Dear MoscowMAXIMUM readers,

In response to the ever-increasing popularity of this publication, and the requests I receive for various club details that I haven't got around to reviewing yet (apologies, I like to keep my reviews in-depth, so spend more time partying than writing, as long as that's OK with you), I'm going to include contact information for venues listed, even if I haven't managed to put a full review online yet.

In the list of clubs to the right, they will still be listed as "TBU" if I haven't reviewed them yet, but hopefully, most will soon have contact information.

Max

Clublife Autumn 2008: Insanity Before the Storm?

2008-10-20T19:13:00.000+04:00

As the temperatures drop, the rain starts to fall (did it ever stop?), and those wonderful summer terraces close across Moscow (Krysha, Soho- we'll miss you), it's time to reflect what awaits Moscow's party bunnies in the colder months ahead.

There has been a frenetic pace of good, bad, and half-assed club openings across Moscow in recent months (I promise to pick up the pace of reviews). Barkhat has opened in the old Infinity space near Famous, Arma 17 is rocking the techno-loving crowd in a huge space behind Gazgolder, Black Star Club is now grooving to R'n'B on top of Evropeiskiy, Blackberry restaurant/bar has made a pre-party splash, and many more that I haven't got around to cataloguing yet.

Yet other clubs have been renovated or repositioned to appeal to new audiences. Paparazzi seems to be replacing Mix as the venue of choice to find dealers late night, while Teatro (a sometimes strip club) has also attracted a strong late-night following. Most has had some light remodelling, but doesn't attract the glamourous crowd it once did, i Fiori has lost its pre-party vibe and Royal Bar is probably just too far out of the centre to hold the crowds now summer is gone.

For the rest of the hotspots, it tends to be business as usual. Soho retains its crown as the hottest megaclub in town, Krysha is still the best afterparty, even without the rooftop. Against all odds, Opera maintains its sense of fun on Thu & Sat nights, and Rai seems to have stabilised (although at more of a "delightful trashiness" level than glamour club). Famous is faltering, and Ninja is the toughest door in town on a Thursday. Simachev is packing in the bar crowd, and the increasingly vibrant alternatives for the non-glamour set are expanding with Black Star, Solyanka, and Sabotage doing brisk business.

The question on everybody's lips is: What happens next? There are storm clouds brewing, rumours abound of oligarch's who have lost fortunes, real estate projects are at a standstill, and luxury retail trade has plummeted almost as rapidly as the RTS Index. Despite media reports that the clubs are empty (show's how much reporters know about what night's & times to actually turn up at a nightclub), so far Moscow excess seems to show no signs of slowing. Not only is the media not permitted to discuss the financial crisis, it's unclear whether many of the devushki at Moscow's nightclubs would be able to read it anyhow.

So, for those of us keen to party away our last few rubles before the party stops (although we hope it won't), here's MoscowMAXIMUM's Fall list of venues:

Pre-Party: Kalina, Blackberry, Simachev

Major Clubs: Soho (bar Thu, club Fri/Sat), Opera (best Thu/Sat), Rai (best Fri), Solyanka (Fri/Sat non-glamour), Black Star (R'n'B), Sabotage (younger).

After Party: Krysha (glamour), Paparazzi (non-glamour), Teatro (younger), Garage (mix of all), Neo (super late-night (post 8am))

Off-Nights:
Wed: Blackberry, Garage (post 2am).
Thu: Kalina, Blackberry, Soho bar, Vanilla Ninja, Opera, Propaganda.
Sun: Garage (post 2am)

Review: Black Star / La Terrasse (Блэк Стар)

2008-08-22T21:08:00.000+04:00

Opening Hours: 7 days, 3pm-last customer. Feis Kontrol from 10pm Fri/Sat.
Category: Lounge, Pre-Party, Exclusive
Feis Kontrol Rating: High - 4/5.
Address: Top Floor, Kievsky Vokzal Pl., 2 (Evropeisky Shopping Centre)
M: Kievskaya
Phone: +7 (495) 229-8428, 229-8429
Website: N/A

Following the closing of Zhara, Moscow rap icon Timati has opened the first of several bars in a complex located on the top of Evropeisky shopping mall in Kievskaya.

La Terrasse is the first bar to open, to shortly be followed by Black Star Club. Similar to venues like Royal Bar or Kalina, it seems to be positioned as a great warm-up bar or a place for a more chill evening listening to cool beats while reclining on couches.

This place is painful to get to. Once you know the right entrance ramp from the street, you drive up for what seems like forever, asking directions and passing through at least two more entrance gateways (vehicle Feis Kontrol) before you even get to club parking. After that it’s into Evropeisky, to an elevator to the top level. I’m exhausted and in need of a Red Bull before I even get to the bar.

Once through Feis Kontrol (ex-Dyagilev VIP), the venue opens into a comfortable lounge, with a long rectangular shape, cozy cream sofas everywhere, a central bar, and a DJ spinning chilled beats with just a hint of R’n’B to promote the relaxed vibe. To get patrons in the mood to party, the music tempo increases through the evening on weekend nights, sounding more like Opera’s Thursday offerings (Russkie Pop mixed with enough R’n’B to convincingly claim it’s an R’n’B party (think “Umbrella” remix)).

Despite the recent opening, the bar staff seem capable and relaxed, and will show off their flair skills at the sight of a cute girl at the bar. Drink prices are reasonable, but then again, you are on the roof of a shopping mall. The menu is typical Evro, but dishes are well-prepared, tasty, and surprisingly reasonably priced too.

The crowd on the nights I have been there have been a little sparse, but high quality. There are plenty of stunning women lounging around, and it’s much more tusovka than trashy (a relief after Zhara- but then again, I’m not their target market).

Based on La Terrasse, I would expect Black Star to be something like Zhara meets Soho. Timati & his partners are likely to capitalise on the increasing maturity of R’n’B to move the defunct Zhara upscale, and I’ll be curious to see how it goes. If you like Timati or R’n’B, it should certainly fit your bill.

Overall, La Terrasse is a great place for a snack or pre-party drink, but unlike Royal Bar (also a pain to get to), there’s not enough there to keep you there for a whole evening, so I don’t know if the odyssey to get to it is worth it. If it was on the street someplace, I’d love it, but I’ll reserve judgment until it’s fully operational.

To be continued...

Review: Karma Bar (Карма Бар)

2008-08-22T20:40:00.000+04:00

Opening Hours: Wed 7pm-6am, Thu-Sun 9pm-6am
Category: Democratic, Club
Feis Kontrol Rating: Minimal - 1/5. Cover Charge
Address: Pushechnaya Ul., 3
M: Kuznetsky Most/Teatralnaya
Phone: +7 (495) 924-5633, +7 (909) 947-3232 (table reservations)
Website: http://www.karma-bar.ru/

Another Moscow nightlife institution, Karma Bar has been packing in the crowds for more years than there have been Leto/Osen/Zima reincarnations. A peculiar mix of oriental design, Latin dancing, and just a hint of mystery has kept this popular club packed for years.

Unlike nearby Propaganda, Karma bpth harder to find and slightly less publicised for tourists and in guidebooks, so there are fewer foreigners here. The crowd tends to be a fun-loving mix of students and younger people who prefer to party without the hassles of Feis Kontrol and attitude of the Moscow tusovka (high-end party scene). This crew will party hard and late though, and I’ve seen cocaine served over the bar here to help this party keep raging.

To find Karma, the address will land you at a gate, where (very mild) Feis Kontrol awaits and an entrance fee will be extracted. You then wind your way down a long alley until the sound of music reaches your ears. You enter a covered stretch of alley, where tables line the walls, and to your surprise (on Saturday, at least), Tango and Salsa lessons are being given next to a small bar!

Fear not, for the nightclub lies deeper. Proceed through a small entrance at the back of the room (beware the coat-check rigmarole if it’s winter), and descend a series of landings with strange Buddhist decorations (the bar was originally called “Buddha Bar”), until you reach a strange room with a mirror wall and set of stairs up half the wall. This is the bathrooms, but if you proceed further, you enter the main bar, a dark cavern with comfortable couches and a long bar, often with girls dancing on it.

Two rooms lead from the main bar, one to a small room of divans for private tables, and the other to a long dancefloor with a stage, and another bar at the far end. The crowd here dances to mix of unadventurous Russkie Pop, but it’s a fun and very friendly atmosphere.

The decor is dark and heavy, with lots of curtains, pillars, and heavy on eastern symbolism (ignore the huge Buddha in the middle of the room). While there are some lighting effects, the club doesn’t boast the type of laser displays typified by the high-end clubs. Lithe go-go dancers amplify the club atmosphere.

As well as being a popular Fri/Sat night venue, Karma also has a happening party on Sunday nights, which can be a difficult night to find Moscow action.

Overall, Karma is a fun place to party, more of a Russian scene than somewhere like McCoy’s, but still plenty of friendly (often English-speaking) locals to whom foreigners are an attractive novelty. Minimal attitude, cheap prices, and fun crowd make it a great place to spend a non-Feis Kontrolled evening.

Review: Propaganda (Пропаганда)

2008-08-22T20:03:00.000+04:00

Opening Hours: M-F 12pm-6am, S-S 3pm-6am
Category: Democratic, Club, Bar
Feis Kontrol Rating: Mild - 2/5
Address: Bol. Zlatoustinskiy Per., 7
M: Lubyanka/Kitai Gorod
Phone: +7 (495) 624-5732
Website: http://www.propagandamoscow.com/

Venerable Propaganda (“Propka” to its fans) is an institution on the Moscow nightlife scene. Over 10 years old, included in every tourist guide ever printed, but still periodically raided, Propaganda is still packing a happening crowd. Geometria for some reason even puts its photo shoots from Propka in the “Underground” section of the website.

How this mediocre space a few blocks from the Lubyanka can still attract a cool (albeit not high-rolling) crowd after all these years is, like Garage, somewhat of a mystery, but Propka’s Thursday night parties are still the hottest tickets for a hip, studenty crowd looking for some adventurous electronica beats.

If you wander into Propaganda during the day or early evening, you might doubt how this mild mannered restaurant could provide anything more exciting than a case of gastro (just kidding, the food is cheap & decent). The crowd, a mix of students, expats, and tourists, are happily enjoying their meals, but after 11 most nights, the shutters come down, the music goes up, the tables are cleared, and drunk or experimental duvushki hit the dance floor.

The decor is basically basement bar- a lot of wood and exposed brick. Once through the entrance and the light but occasionally capricious Feis Kontrol (speak English and you should be fine), you wind your way into the main room where a central dining/dance floor is punctuated by pillars and surrounded by booths against the walls. A small but efficient bar serves patrons from one side, and twin staircases lead up to mezzanine hosting cosier tables and a balcony overlooking the floor.

The Propka party crowd are mostly younger students (many who speak English) who are into the music, and although a lot of hooking up gets done at Propaganda, many people really are here for the music. There are plenty of expats and tourists in the mix too, and by 1am the vibe is usually pretty drunk and happy. If you’re into that scene, Sunday nights gay parties are legendary, if you’re not, it might be a good night to avoid.

Propaganda will often be absolutely packed until late, although the bar next door is a decent flow-over venue if you need a break from the music or want a quieter chat to get to know a new friend.

Overall, Propka is a great place to come and party where you won’t have issues with Feis Kontrol, it won’t break the bank, and you can meet some attitude-free locals or just dance your ass off.

Review: Vanilla Ninja (Ванильная Нинджа)

2008-08-16T21:12:00.000+04:00

Opening Hours: Thursday midnight-late
Category: Ultra-Exclusive
Feis Kontrol Rating: Ridiculous - 5/5
Address: 15 Rochdelskaya Ul.
M: Ulitsa 1905 Goda
Phone: Not listed
Website: N/A

This new Thursday-only über-elitny joint venture between the Famous (First) and Krysha Mira crew takes exclusive to a new level. There is no Feis Kontroller, and entry is by list-only. Unless you’re on the list, or have someone on the inside to let you in, you’re not getting past security, no matter who you are or how good you look.

And how to get on the list? Well, firstly you have to cut off your little toe, send it along with a lock of hair from a teenage virgin (hard to find in Moscow) to Sergei Zverev, then turn up at Krysha at 11.11pm on the full moon, where you will participate in the human sacrifice of a lesser mortal who had the poor judgement to be caught partying at Sorry Babushka. Then, well... OK, maybe not, but it’s something like that.

The club is located on the second floor of the same building as Famous, and in fact the bathrooms of Vanilla Ninja are the VIP bathrooms for Famous (more about them later). Access is down the same driveway, but you go past the Famous entrance to the enormous white gates (Element called them Mordor-like, which is apt).

Once you have satisfied the list-gods, a small door pops open within the larger gates, and you scurry through to a spacious VIP parking area with the usual dazzling array of the cars of Moscow’s rich & bored. A small wooden door flanked by candles provides access to a candle-lit staircase taking you to the upper level. It’s here that the startling similarity to Gazgolder’s decor first hit me.

Arriving on the second floor, you see that the Ninja is small. It’s a single room with a bar on one end, DJ booth on one wall facing a tiny dancefloor, and a handful of VIP tables at the other end. On either side of the DJ table, flat panels screen mostly lesbian porn and on the opposite wall a working? fireplace and another couple of couches.

The overwhelming decor theme strikes me as “modern Gazgolder”, with the same quasi-antique feel (ornate couches, cracked tiles, lots of gold paint), but with more mirrors and metal, see-through air-conditioning, and less of Gazgolder’s brick. It’s quirky, but it works.

The crowd is a similar mix of beautiful people that you’d expect to see at Krysha with fewer of the artsy types, and plenty of industry people, given it’s a Thursday. The DJ pumps a mix of heavy house and quasi-electronica, not dissimilar to Krysha or Gazgolder, to a crowd gyrating on the dance floor.

The bar serves the usual mix of overpriced (think Famous) drinks, and given the small venue and familiar crowd, people seem to be having a good time.

The bathrooms deserve a special mention (see my Famous writeup), they’re huge and have a spacey design, with UFO wallpaper, changing colour lights and enough room to throw your own party in there (which no doubt occurs frequently).

Overall, if you like Krysha, Gazgolder, or cozy places with hardcore music, Vanilla Ninja is a good place. I personally like the gimmicks and the crowd, and once inside, people don’t seem to take themselves or the venue too seriously. It’s a fun alternative (or warm-up) to Opera on Thursdays!

Review: Malibu (Малибу)

2008-06-22T20:39:00.000+04:00

Opening Hours: Summer Weekends from 12pm-late
Category: Mid-Range, Lounge, Summer
Feis Kontrol Rating: Easy - 2/5
Address: Moscow oblast, Mytishchinskiy region, Zhostovo township, Holiday Zone "Bukhta Radosti-2" (the route from Moscow is well signposted to "Malibu")
M: None
Phone: +7 (495) 969-0549, 797-1267
Website: www.clubmalibu.ru

In the future, I think last night will mark the defining moment when I truly knew Moscow had too much money for its own good. Whoever would pay for the most expensive club development ever ($22 million) to create a ridiculously tacky monstrosity in the middle of nowhere needs to have his head examined (money-laundering requirements aside).

Someone gave a designer with a “Finding Nemo” fetish one too many tabs of bad LSD, an unlimited budget, and a mandate to combine Vegas, Disneyland, and Odessa with the glitz of Moscow nightlife, and drop it in a location better suited for “The Blair Witch Project #34”. While I wholeheartedly DO NOT recommend Malibu as a nightspot- it truly has to be seen to be believed.

Let’s start with the location. 25km past the MKAD (the highway that defines Moscow city limits), and 15km past where the streetlights stop, deep in the forest. For those of you not accustomed to going outside the Garden Ring (no, Krysha doesn’t count), a visit to Malibu could qualify you for a year’s worth of Russian cultural exchange. En route, we passed a bunch of guys watching football in a field, their TV plugged into a high voltage power stanchion. The sight of bemused half-naked locals grilling shashlik in tents, watching as a caravan of Moscow’s glitterati in their Bentley’s & Mercedes' crawled by on the rutted, unpaved roads was a sight to behold, and about the only time I could think that the purchase of a Hummer in Moscow could be justified.

After hacking your way through the forest, you arrive at the gaudy neon-illuminated complex, guarded by an exact replica of the ship from “Pirates of the Caribbean”, complete with mannequins of Jack Sparrow, firing cannons, and black sails.

As Malibu is a summer-only venue, there are numerous yacht berths for people to arrive by water. For some unknown reason, the yacht berths are watched over by an elephant.

The main pontoon (the whole club is floating out into the water) is endless. Patrons stroll through a large concrete maw (simulating Viking longboats, I think), flanked by porpoises, to emerge on a long roofdeck. To the right lies a semi-indoor chillout zone, with lounges and multicoloured disco balls. Ahead are two long lap-pools, encircled by neon-laced fake palm trees, and a circular bar. I expected to be served vodka garnished with fruit and little frilly umbrellas.

Proceeding past the deck, you circumnavigate a sandcastle-like building, which houses a couple of bathrooms, a meeting room (wtf?), and another restaurant-type room on the 2nd floor. Across a small bridge, and this venue is starting to feel endless. There are views of the other platform across an interior lagoon, with floating fake yellow lotuses and candless, which can't obscure the cheesy neon sign flashing "Malibu", in a size that could be seen from space, with a style reminiscent of something last seen on Phuket. Across another open platform, and then wristbands are checked for entry into the club.

At this point any remaining semblence of reality and good taste (not that there's much left) vanishes as you enter a subterranean domain with jellyfish, sharks, whales, and who knows what else suspended from the ceiling, a central raised dancefloor (which thoughtfully restricts access to the other side of the room), surrounded by cave-like VIP booths and ringed by an upstairs VIP balcony. A hostess thoughtfully told me that there were 4 levels of VIP at Malibu, with the Super-VIP gold bracelets reserved for celebrities and visiting royalty (this was with a straight face). The walls are done in a quasi-sandy coral reef-like finish, and for a club that was so expensive to build, everything looks cheap and tacky (with the exception of the sound and laser system).

The DJ is perched high on a raised dais above the dancefloor, presiding over seahorse-encrusted decks, while pirate-costumed go-go girls whirl around below (now why didn't they have those in "Pirates of the Carribbean"?). The bars are uncomfortably raised and taller patrons have to duck under their ~5'5" roof to be able to order a drink (and it's damn hot there).

A trip downstairs to the bathrooms (if you can find them) is a treat, with Jaws busting out of the wall half-way down (he makes another appearance popping out of a billboard near the entrance), pirate-encostumed skeletons in the washroom, and Club XIII-like open lipsticked mouth urinals in the mens bathroom. It's a special experience, especially since you're below water level.

Since it was opening night, the crowd was a strange mix of Moscow club scene (I'm still laughing about juxtaposition of the poor girls on stiletto's tottering along the forest paths to get to the club), with some centre regulars mixed in with a strongly regional crew (not surprising given it's located 90 minutes from the centre). The venue is so huge and remote that unless you turn up without pants (as we saw one fellow nearby), the chances of being turned away by Feis Kontrol are slim.

Drink prices are refreshingly reasonable by centre standards, and with familiar faces smiling from behind the bar, management has evidently poached a competent and professional bar staff.
Overall, Malibu has to be seen to be believed. If you're a yacht owner, then I could see it as a good place to pull up for a few drinks and to lie on the beach during the day, but as a nightclub, it's way too far and way too tacky to attract the Moscow tusovka.

Review: Club Famous (Феймос)

2008-06-08T23:25:00.000+04:00

Opening Hours: Fri-Sat 11pm till last customer
Category: Ultra-Exclusive
Feis Kontrol Rating: Tough - 4/5
Address: Rochdelskaya Ul., 15 (down driveway)
M: Barrikadnaya/Ulitsa 1905 Goda
Phone: +7 (495) 255-5354
Website: N/A

Dyagilev is back! Well, half of it... On second thoughts, not really- but Famous sure does look like someone chopped Dyagilev in half. Just to make sure you don't get the two confused after your 16th vodka (if you can afford them) and start digging through the floor of the club to try and find a downstairs bathroom, they have thoughtfully plastered the name of the club (remember: FAMOUS) on every space large enough to put it.

Famous is located in a nondescript building down a driveway around the corner from Opera. It might be hard to find, except for the name FAMOUS on every square inch of the outside of the building too, and that it houses the new ultra-exclusive Vanilla Ninja club on the 2nd floor.

The club is run by the same crew that used to operate First, and the Feis Kontroller has been resurrected from First. Good news for those who were on the club scene a few years ago, but it seems to be taking him a few weeks to figure out that Moscow has changed a little in the intervening period.

The entrance leads you to what can best be described as a staging area, a black and undecorated room with a bar in the centre and a couch or two. It's a nice place to return to for a slightly better chance at conversation, or to allow your vision to recover before you permanently see "FAMOUS" written everywhere you look.

Twin corridors lead to the main club itself, which is an amphitheater style, a central bar, with VIP tables rising in tiers on either side. It's kind of "Opera meets Dyagilev" in layout, but it's much smaller than either, and the overwhelming impression is of Dyagilev, with the overlapping balconies, raised stage and runway above the bar, and the enormous multimedia screens on the walls.

At this point it's important to note that Famous is designed with VIP's in mind. If you're not VIP (or famous, presumably), you're nobody in this club, and even the cheaper VIP tables are crammed together. For the plebians in the non-VIP centre floor, the sight lines in the club are terrible, you can't see the dancers or shows on the stage above, and the fancy effects that produce flames and fountains spill over the edge and literally rain on the patrons below.

A corridor at the back of the room leads to a cramped unisex bathroom, with seemingly very few cubicles. They're well-appointed and soundproofing doesn't appear to be an issue. The VIP bathrooms upstairs are another story. They're plushly appointed and the size of a small apartment.

The DJ's I've heard so far have been pretty good. Music flavour tends Russkie-pop House with occasional flashes of creativity. I would put it as mostly Opera, with flashes of Rai, a touch of Most, and just a hint of Dyagilev. In other words- good, but nothing you haven't heard before. The sound and laser system is really impressive.

The crowd, as per usual in a new club, so far seems mainly to be standing around and gaping (and checking out who's there), and there's little relaxing and dancing, with the exception of the statuesque models at the ultra-VIP raised ringside tables, who if not exactly hoofing, are at least swaying, clapping, and providing a visually pleasing counterpoint for their typically less ravishing hosts, as well as for the lithely writhing go-go dancers on podiums and the stage. I think if the drink prices weren't so ridiculous, people would relax, have a few more drinks, and let the fun begin. That said, other than the staging lounge, there's not much in the way of nooks and crannies for people to get to know each other.

Which brings me to my biggest beef about Famous (aside from the stupid FAMOUS signs everywhere- did I mention that?). The prices are ludicrous, especially in the light of the recently opened Soho, where drink prices are in line with other clubs, yet the design and construction of which would have cost many times Famous. 2000+ rubles (~$100) is ridiculous for a few simple mixed drinks. But it's a casual reminder that as with the rest of Moscow, if you can't pay, then don't play.

Overall, while I recognise that the tone of this review is not exactly glowing, Moscow Maximum remains optimistic about Famous (and excited about Vanilla Ninja, but that's a topic for another review). I hope that once the Feis Kontrol gets better (really random crowd first few weekends), people get familiar with the place, it should be able to develop a decent vibe. It's pure fantasy to dream they might lower the prices, so drink up before you go. Given the pedigree of the operators, none of these issues are insurmountable. It's a beautiful club, good location, good DJ's, but unlikely to be the next Dyagilev that so many clubbers seem to be pining for.

Summer 2008 Nightlife Update

2008-06-08T17:06:00.000+04:00

Now that summer is (in theory) upon us, with a bunch of new places to check out- where does the avid nightlifer spend an evening?

Summer weekends tend to be a little quieter than in winter, as many Muscovites head for their dachas or on vacation, but there's still plenty of great places to party!

In a round-up of the centre elitny clubs, the most reknown Summer roofdeck is that of Krysha Mira, and historically there's no better place to don sunglasses, watch a 4am sunrise, drink in hand, and keep on partying- whether dancing in the glass-enclosed upstair dancefloor, or reclining on the lounges and cabanas on the roofdeck.

The latest challenge to Krysha, however, is Soho Room's newly opened roofdeck, complete with swimming pool. The party here, combined with a killer breakfast menu (Eggs Benedict or stuffed French toast anyone? (Only from 4am-12pm- WTF?)), will be a strong late-night contender.

The newly-opened Famous is packing in the crowds, but it's not very big space, so Opera around the corner is still going strong. Vanilla Ninja (located in the same building), open only on Thursday nights will challenge Opera's long-unchallenged Thursday night dominance!

Soho Room's Disco Room is the hottest ticket in town for Fri & Sat, but Rai continues to slide, with the new club offerings putting real pressure on them to fill the club with a quality crowd (although softer Feis Kontrol).

On another note, the increasing modesty of the high-end Moscow clubs so well noted by Moscow commentator MDBIT continues. The depraved ridiculousness seems to have peaked with Rai, where absolutely any form of behaviour can and does seem to be sanctioned, and no topic can possibly be found that can't have a soundtrack and a bunch of mostly naked girls wrapped around it on stage. While many people may breathe a sigh of relief at this, I personally lean(ed) towards the sheer fun of Dyagilev and Opera, which while elite clubs, don't take themselves as seriously as Soho or Most. Let's see how Famous evolves (the sign's aren't promising).

Moscow is still waiting with baited breath for Sinisha & Co's latest offering to replace Dyagilev, but the old Billionaire space is reported to be close to opening as a bar.

Review: Club London (Лондон)

2008-03-30T20:48:00.000+04:00

Opening Hours: Fri-Sat 11pm till last customer
Category: Mid-Range
Feis Kontrol Rating: Moderate - 3/5
Address: Prospekt Vernadskogo, 14
M: Prospekt Vernadskogo
Phone: +7 (495) 749-4959, 133-9778
Website: http://www.london-club.ru/

It's always a challenge to review a venue on opening night, the place is mobbed, the bartenders don't know what they're doing, and nobody knows where to go. However, even by opening night standards, London's was a clusterf**k. In the ten minutes we waited at the coatcheck, they couldn't even coordinate themselves to take a single coat. Half the club was running around coats in hand.

Now that I've got that out of my system, let's review the club. Firstly, London is FAR from the centre. Despite being positioned as a glamour club, it' s a pretty safe bet that Moscow's glamour set isn't going to hike out to Prospekt Vernadskogo to a random shopping mall on a regular basis. On the other hand, drinks are cheap!

The club itself is cleverly done. Someone allowed an interior designer to run amok and attempt to cram every London icon into a single club. Once down the entrance staircase, patrons are greeted by an open space decorated with old-fashioned lampposts and park bench-type couches, upside-down umbrellas on the ceiling, and walls alternately displaying graffiti and crafted London cityscapes. The (poorly designed) unisex bathrooms are located through a traditional red phone booth.

As you venture further into the club itself, a two-level space with a checkered floor opens up. Twin staircases lead up to the VIP area upstairs, which is unremarkable, with couches and a low ceiling overlooking the dance floor downstairs. Go-go dancers gyrate above both bars downstairs, and further tables are tucked away in the corners.

The crowd was mixed, with a few of Moscow's high-end clubgoers, but seemingly mostly consisting of more "regional" patrons, more commonly seen at out-of-centre establishments. This isn't surprising given London's location, but strange considering how the club is positioning itself. I plan to visit again in the next few weeks to see how the crowd settles out, but given my other impressions of the club, I'm not optimistic.

The cutest touch of the evening were the models wandering around dressed (partially) as London Royal Guards, complete with tall furry hats (I doubt these were genuine bearskin).

The music was another disappointment. Despite a high quality promo CD, the DJ on arrival was spinning "Short Dicked Man", and then proceeded through some other poorly selected 90's remixes. Not sure if this was intentional and somehow linked with perceptions of London (the city), but let's hope for that to improve.

All-in-all, London's shortcomings are not insumountable, and nothing that decently trainined coatcheck staff, practiced bartenders and Feis Kontrol and a new DJ couldn't fix, but I think they should give up on the glamour set and reposition themselves as a top out-of-centre establishment catering to the large nearby university population.

New Nightclub Blitz!

2008-02-28T02:58:00.000+03:00

In the next couple of months, Moscow is poised to be deluged with the openings of at least FOUR new high-end nightclubs, which should seriously upset the status quo.

Following the flaming demise of Diaghilev, bereft clubgoers have fanned out to other Moscow hotspots, hoovered up by the new Soho Rooms "Disco Room", returned to Rai or Opera, and some have even foolishly hoped to kick start the summer season early at Krysha. The selection of venues will soon be confused even further, and running into that girl you hooked up with last week "Groundhog Day"-style will soon become (thankfully or not) much less common.

First & foremost, the opening for Dyagilev's replacement has been brought forward to April or earlier, rumoured to be huge and located near Rai. A newcomer by the name of New Millennium is skulking near Galereya, but the venues the tusovka is talking about in hushed tones are the twin venues to be opened by the long-dormant First proprietors, a Thursday-only venue called "Vanilla Ninja" (I ask you- who comes up with these names?), and secondly, the long-awaited "Famous", which will apparently include a fountain and solid gold urinals (Most, eat your heart out). Both will reportedly be access by guest list only.

Stand by for more news, reviews and screws from these new venues that are rising up faster than Moscow skirt lengths in April!

Max

Soho Rooms Nightclub Opens

2008-02-18T21:14:00.001+03:00

On Friday, Feb 8th, the eagerly awaited Disco Room opened at Soho Rooms, the recently opened restaurant/bar/terrace/pool/nightclub megaplex that's been rendering Savvinskaya Nab. unnavigable on weekends.

See what MoscowMAXIMUM thought of the new space, located at the bottom of the Soho Rooms (Сохо Румс) review.

Fire at Dyagilev

2008-02-07T13:32:00.000+03:00

At 11.30 this morning, Moscow fire crews responded to reports of a fire in the Sad Hermitage, the gardens that house Moscow Megaclub Dyagilev.

The Level 3 (very serious) fire has reportedly damaged or destroyed over 1,500 sq. m of space throughout all five stories of Dyagilev's building. One person was reported injured and four were rescued from the basement.

The fire broke out two and a half hours before the Chinese embassy in Moscow was scheduled to celebrate Chinese New Year in the nightclub.

Dyagilev's destruction in today's fire will likely spell an early end for the club which was scheduled to host its closing party on April 26.

For the Russian readers amongst you, this entertaining ode to Dyagilev was circulating within hours of the fire (author unknown):

Стриптизерш и барменов одежды,
Баксы, евро, сколько-то рублей,
И, конечно, девичьи надежды,
И, конечно, похоть кобелей.

Содрогались барышни в рыданьях,
Собираясь по домам в кружки:
<Это ж надо! Что ж за наказанье? Кто его прощелкал, мудаки?!>

Ну куда, куда теперь, скажите,
Им ходить грудями потрясти?
Оборвались к счастию все нити,
<Дягилев> прощай. Прощай, прости.

Поминали чашками с абсентом,
Кружками с мате, ведром с сакэ
На английском, русском и с акцентом,
И татуировкой на руке.

Слез не скрыть гримасам и прищуру.
Плачут все. Лужков - и тот весь бел.
Вот он и пришел закат гламура -
<Дягилев>, пока. К хуям сгорел.

Review: Simachev Bar (Симачёв)

2008-01-28T17:27:00.000+03:00

Opening Hours: 7 Days 11am till last customer
Category: Bar, Pre-Party
Feis Kontrol Rating: Moderate - 3/5 (when present)
Address: Stoleshnikov per., 12., Bldg 2,
M: Pushkinskaya/Tverskaya
Phone: +7 (495) 629-8085
Website: http://www.denissimachev.com/

Opened in early 2007, Denis Simachev Shop and Bar is definitely not the first Moscow venue to combine retail and nightlife (even the photos on the wall of Galereya are for sale, and don't get me started on how many of the girls in Moscow nightclubs are for sale one way or another), but it's the first by a local star designer.

Denis Simachev, whose $400+ t-shirts and other haute-nouveau-Russian fashion items are for sale upstairs, has created his vision of the perfect bar downstairs. It has great food, ranges from a rocking club to a quiet place to enjoy with friends, and reflects the quirky designs of its namesake. Whether you're interested in the fashion or not, it's definitely worth a visit!

Simachev is easy to find, as you wander down the fashionable pedestrian walk Stoleshnikov per., it's the large red and yellow building wrapped to look like a giant gift. On party nights (Thu/Fri/Sat generally), Feis Kontrol will have set up a compound outside, and in Summer there's a gorgeous patio, but otherwise you can let yourself in through the narrow antique-looking doors, and find yourself at the base of an ornate staircase, leading up to the store. To your left lies a service bar, and on the right a tabled seating area that converts to a secondary dance floor on busy nights. Feis Kontrol tends to be moderately strict but consistent.

As you venture further into the bar, the thought that comes to mind when describing the decor is "eclectic". A tiled floor and an imitation row of washbasins down the centre of the room give a French Brasserie air, while the catholic confession-like alcoves for inconspicuous dining bring to mind another age. The shiny bar with its hysterical montage of world leaders is bright and playful, while the pornographic Anime mosaic on the wall of the dancefloor is cute (in a kind of sexy "Hello Kitty" way). Add a leopard skin, an ejector seat from a MiG fighter, a working fireplace, and this bar has something for everyone!

Simachev hosts a slightly edgier crowd than bars like GQ, Soho, or other high-end spots. The bar prides itself on it's fashion pedigree, while not welcoming the young and clueless set that haunts Solyanka and Justo. As a result, the crowd is a little older (there are always older (25+) single women there on the prowl), fairly interesting, and looking for a slightly different offering than the standard Moscow mix.

The music at Simachev depends on the night and who's on the turntables (Denis himself regularly does a few sets), but tends to thoughtfully remixed older tunes (lots of 80's), with creative non-electronica modern mixes featuring frequently. To my dismay, when trying to urge the crowd onto the dancefloor on party nights, the DJ is far too quick to put on what I consider 2nd-class American wedding music ("Come On Eileen" being the tune that's guaranteed to make me instantaneously leave any establishment), but the bar generally offers good music you can groove to.

The bar's truly hidden gem is its fabulous kitchen. For someone with a passion for good bar food (a la New York), Simachev is a gift from above. A simple but well-put-together menu of quality sandwiches, pizzas, soups, and other basic foods, (as well as an all-day breakfast and a kicking dessert menu) at a reasonable (although recently increased) price makes this a great place for dinner with friends or even a date, any time of the day or night (although I'd recommend it more on a quiet night).

Altogether, Simachev is a location that has grown on me over time. It's a great place to come on a quiet night for it's own sake, and a good pre-party to get you in the mood when heading out, as long as you don't let the too-cool attitude of the crowd get to you, or find Good Ol' Eileen chasing you out the door.

Review: Galereya/Gallery (Галерея)

2008-01-28T17:26:00.000+03:00

Opening Hours: 24 Hours, 7 Days. (No reservations after 9.30pm)

Category: Lounge, Post-Party, Pre-Party

Feis Kontrol Rating: Low - 2/5

Address: Petrovka Ul. 27

M: Pushkinskaya/Tverskaya

Phone: +7 (495) 937-4544

Website: http://www.cafegallery.ru/

Galereya is the quintessential place in Moscow that everyone loves to hate, yet so may people (myself included), find ourselves back there at all times of the day or night. Yes, it's pretentious, it's Novikov, it's not good value (this is Moscow- what is?), it's full of hookers, the food's not great, the service can be terrible, but for all that- I'm an unabashed Galereya lover.

Why? I'll answer at the end of the post, but first- a little about Galereya.

Galereya is a 24-hour restaurant & lounge, located on the corner of Strastnoy Bulvar and Petrovka. It's immediately recognisable (like all Novikov places) by all the black cars idling out front. Through the entrance and feis kontrol (yes, at a restaurant, but thankfully it's not too painful), the coat check and bathrooms (constantly a wait due to all the people powdering their noses and/or f**king) are on the left, and to the right past the maitre'd and DJ lies the restaurant.

Although the restaurant is bustling most evenings, I find the greatest attraction at Galereya to be the luxurious lounges which are located on the left at the far end of the restaurant. These chocolate-coloured monuments to relaxation are perfect whether lounging with friends over a leisurely drinks/dinner/late night dessert (or later-night breakfast), or canoodling with a new-found friend (sometimes acquainted on-premises). They're great for groups of 2-10 or more, as there are all shapes & sizes.

The menu is the typical Novikov Evrotrash menu, with a mix of decent salads, pastas, fish, meat, sushi, etc., but the unique and best attraction in my opinion is the "Nostalgia" Russian menu, featuring tasty, traditionally prepared Borsch, Pelmeni, Chicken Kiev, and more (at New Russian prices). The dessert range is also very extensive and delicious- vital for a 24/7 venue.

The reason I've included a review of Galereya in a nightlife guide is that it's bustling at all times of the day and night. On Monday's and Tuesday's it can be the only game in town, and post-5/6am on the weekends the place is packed with people fuelling up for the after-party, or before heading home. It's a safe bet that if Galereya's dead, there's not much else going on in town.

The other outstanding feature of Galereya is its summer patio, which comes alive with capacity for another 100 people as soon as it's warm enough to do so. On the weekends, it's a stand-alone party in its own right, with gogo dancers, bands, and more comfortable lounges.

The crowd is a mix of wealthy young Russians, higher-income expats, older businessmen, girls sitting alone sipping tea and waiting for company (who may or may not be for sale), couples canoodling, or groups of friends preparing for a night out. The lounge is frequented on weekdays by the club promoters, who will breeze through with some club models or dancers handing out compilation CD's to advertise the coming weekend's parties.

One of the nicer things about the scene at Galereya these days is, having opened close to two years ago and as such now the 4th most recent place that Novikov has opened, the "must-be-seen-at-latest-Novikov-place" crowd has now moved on to pollute GQ Bar, and Galereya is left with the "regular" see-and-be-seen crowd (if this doesn't make any sense to you, you haven't spent enough time in Moscow).

So why do I like Galereya? For many of the reasons above, it's comfortable, it's well-located, it serves decent food, it has great scenery, and it's a great place to hang out with friends or bring visitors for a taste of a certain aspect of Moscow life.

Review: Arka (Арка)

2008-01-27T18:42:00.000+03:00

Opening Hours: Weekdays till last guest, Fri-Sun 24 hours
Category: Mid-Range, Post-Party
Feis Kontrol Rating: Moderate - 3/5
Address: Kitaygorodskikh Proezd, 7, through archway
M: Kitay Gorod
Phone: +7 (495) 233-2331; +7 (903)666-5576 (table reservations)
Website: http://www.arkaclub.ru/

Club Arka is a newly (re)opened venue positioned as an after-party club for Moscow's A-list. It's going to have to do a whole lot better than it is to catch the attention of these vapid rich kids, models and other notables and drag them away from Krysha, even during Krysha's slow(er) winter months.

Don't try and get here anytime much before 5am unless there's a special event, since the crowds only start arriving after the Megaclubs close (or at least slow down).

Club Arka is located down the street from Cafe Prado, through an archway in a space which has evidently been used for some sort of party venue previously, since I can't imagine anyone intentionally designing this decor for the current Moscow club scene. After passing Feis Kontrol (who peer at patrons through a one-way mirror facing the line outside and radio (dis)approval- very Opera), you stroll down a long corrider, past cheap bathrooms with some strange blue material hanging from the ceiling, to a narrow staircase.

Down the stairs is the main lounge bar, looking like something in-between a high-school cafeteria and a cave. The fake rough-hewn walls are even cheesier than G-Club (although thankfully without Aztec symbols), and lend the entire venue a cheap, pre-fabricated feel, and without any familiar Moscow references (except gorgeous women and gogo dancers), you could be in any random bar in the world. The lounge has some quite comfortable couches and low tables, and the creamy soft furnishings complemented by the meringue-like roof and walls are quite soothing.

Proceeding through to the dancefloor, a long cavernous room disappears into the distance with a mix of bright lights and a consistently marked lack of people dancing (other than gogo dancers). A long mirror stretching down one side makes this space seem vast, particularly given the sparse attendance.

The white bar has some more comfortable sofas and mood lighting, and theres a dazzling surprise room with lush red Middle-Eastern style furnishings that give Arka a bit of flair that is othewise not apparent throughout the rest of the club.

One redeeming feature of Arka is that of the limited number of patrons that are there, there is a fair amount of talent, probably those girls who turn up their noses at Garage, but aren't cool enough for Krysha. Unfortunately, a handful of pretty girls isn't enough to fill this soulless void.

Drink prices are moderate, and music is a mix of slightly edgier house but sometimes slowed down to accommodate the advanced state of the evening.

Overall, if you're stuck in Kitai Gorod and need something to drink long after everything else has quietened down, Arka's not a bad place to go with some friends to chill, eat, drink, and reminisce about the adventures of the night, rather than keep them going strong at Krysha or Garage.

Review: Zona (Зона)

2008-01-23T21:48:00.000+03:00

Opening Hours: Fri-Sat, 11pm-7am
Category: Mid-Range, Megaclub
Feis Kontrol Rating: Low - 2/5
Address: Leninskaya Sloboda Ul., 19, building 2
M: Avtozavodskaya
Phone: +7 (495) 229-1428
Website: http://zonaclub.ru/

Note: Please note my caveats regarding out-of-centre venues here.

The first thing you notice pulling up to jail-themed Zona is a gogo dancer gyrating in a cylindrical aquarium out the front of the club. In the thickly falling snow the other evening, this was a striking introduction to this extraordinary place. Having had our expectations dramatically lowered by other nearby venues, Zona was an extraordinary feast for the senses, combining wacky design, crazy spectacles and an entertaining crowd.

The venue is HUGE, with five floors, countless rooms, and capacity for 7,000+ patrons. There are confusing options available entry, with feis kontrol seemingly directing those who can afford it towards "VIP" entry, of which there are multiple levels ranging from 600-1000RUB. The "VIP XO" allows you to Level 4 (seriously worth it for for entertainment value), and the "VIP Bordeaux" 5th floor (not to be confused (despite similarity of decor) with strip club Bordo) with restrained music, plush lounges, more semi-naked girls, and miniature side-rooms (with locks) for couples who wish a little more privacy for their coupling.

Once you find your way into the club, past the steel gates, barbed wire, and other prison-like accoutrements, you find yourself on the ground floor, where a slowly revolving bar is enough to seriously disconcert you (even if sober). There is also an R&B dance floor with elevated moving sections. In summer months, the first floor offers a huge summer terrace, which apparently houses a waterfall and goldfish pond.

The second level contains one of the largest dancefloors in Moscow, with decent (but not particularly adventurous) heavy-duty house music, enthusiastic gogo dancers, and semi-naked women pacing, dancing, or reclining on the bar. Zona's decor follows the jail theme until you reach the 4th floor, with liberal use of steel, bars, grey/blue colouring and concrete. While on the 2nd floor, we were served with a poignant reminder that we weren't at Krysha Mira anymore, as a group of muscular young gentlemen demonstrated their physical prowess by headbutting each other in the chest on the dance floor. It's these cultural interations (combined with regional devushka fashion) that make ex-centre exploration so rewarding.

The third floor is the most prison-oriented of them all, almost completely given over to rows of "cells" with bare wooden benches behind steel bars for patrons to chill with friends and drink.

For those lofty enough to make it to the fourth VIP XO level, an entirely different scene awaits. In the "chill" section, a labyrinth of wooden corridors, punctuated with glass cages with semi-naked male and female dancers, weave around elaborately-themed chillout rooms to house groups of friends, passionate couples, or passionate groups of friends. A raised glass platform hosts more exotic acts, such as the 2+ metre albino anaconda which confronted us as it writhed around a topless dancer. Moving further through the 4th floor, you emerge into a strange fantasy-land, not unlike what I'd expect if Alice in Wonderland were a nightclub. Gold-plated wrought iron, plush upholstery, more dancers and a glass floor, through which the poor people can be seen milling in the non-VIP chillout area below. A diminutive contortionist did his thing while the crowd thronged the dancefloor, and once again, while I'm willing to give the dancers the benefit of the doubt at regional places, the hairy legs of one of them encouraged me to keep my distance, lest I end up with a hairball in my drink from her vigorous gyrations.

The vaunted 5th floor, as mentioned earlier, was a much quieter affair, seemingly designed for people to show how wealthy they think they are, or for couples to retire to more cubicles.

Zona also offers patrons the ability to purchase a "Gold Card" for free VIP entry. Entertainingly, they "urge you not to turn to the usual staff of the club because in this case, we will not be able to guarantee a high level of service [to gold card members]". It also stresses "We do not offer guests drugs or intimate services". Given the scantily clad "dancers" wandering the chill-out VIP zone and the proliferation of private rooms, I'm skeptical of this second advice. For this and other entertaining cautions (and the confusing explanation of how the VIP entry tariffs work), visit their site.

Drinks are reasonably priced, but higher than other out-of-centre venues. a fairly creative mix of cocktails is available, but sadly (as is becoming typical), no redbull.

Overall, Zona is a maelstrom of styles and a feast for the senses. Serious DJ's are known to give concerts here, but the real attraction is the bizarre establishment and the entertaining and friendly patrons. If you're tired of the centre scene and want a truly different venue for a night out, definitely hit Zona.

Review: G-Club (Г-Клуб)

2008-01-23T21:32:00.000+03:00

Opening Hours: 11am-midnight Mon-Wed, 11am-6am Thu-Sun.
Category: Bar, Mid-Range
Feis Kontrol Rating: Low- 2/5
Address: 4/1 1st Avtozavodsky Per.
M: Avtozavodskaya
Phone: +7 (495) 710-2991
Website: N/A

Note: Please note my caveats regarding out-of-centre venues here.

This unfortunate excuse for a nightclub looks like the designers started working with a Flintstones meets Il Patio theme, then ran out of budget half-way into the club and fitted out some spare mall space and installed a disco ball and dancer cages.

The whole mess was then dropped somewhere outside the 3rd ring at the end of an alley in a carpark, almost as if an embarrassed wannabe club mogul was trying to make it as difficult as possible to actually go there (come to think of it, maybe it IS just a money-laundering scene).

G-Club is positioned as a "Glamour" club, like Dyagilev, but needless to say falls significantly short of the mark. Even at 2am on a Saturday, the place was mostly empty, but a sparse, evenly mixed crowd admittedly seemed to be having a good time.

The music is essentially a mix of Russky-pop greatest hits (think of the most popular Russian remixes you heard at Dyagilev a year ago all in a row), which while fun to sing along to, isn't the most creative mix I've heard. Drink prices are moderate, but for such a venue, you'd expect them to be cheaper.

G-Club has a highly exclusive VIP section upstairs looking down on the main dance foodcourt, um, I mean dancefloor, but apparently the wide pinstripe-besuited security gentleman thought I was patently too uncool to be let up there.

If for some reason you're trapped in Avtozavodskaya and you can't get into Zona, then G-Club is not the most objectionable way I can think of to pass the time, but I can think of few reasons beyond that to return there anytime soon. I personally will try and return sometime in the next month or so (I fear it may be closed thereafter) to re-review (just in case I caught it on a bad night), but I fear the misplaced Aztec symbols in the fake stucco will be haunting me in my dreams for some time to come.

Moscow Nightlife Beyond the Garden Ring?

2008-01-23T21:20:00.000+03:00

As most readers will recognise, MoscowMAXIMUM usually sticks to the newest and hottest places in Moscow, since they're where I generally hang out, and are the places most people want to know about.

In an effort to prove there is life in this city of 16 million people outside the Garden Ring (no, Krysha doesn't count), a group of intrepid friends & I spent much of the weekend frequenting some of the more happening (or not) bars and clubs outside the centre.

Those venues that warranted have received their own reviews, but for those of you who live in the city, the experience is truly worthwhile to visit some of the smaller bars and clubs, just to experience Russian life from a different time and place, sometimes only a couple of km's from the Garden Ring.

In doing these out-of-centre reviews, it's pointless to keep harping on about how the music, dancers, design, girls, crowd, etc, are not as good as Moscow's hottest places, so I have only noted these things when offenses have been truly egregious or I've been pleasantly surprised. Caveat Clubbor!

Dyagilev Closing

2008-01-22T20:14:00.000+03:00

Moscow is abuzz with rumours about the impending closure of Dyagilev, and the location of Sinisha & Co's next (super-secret) venture.

Love it or hate it, Dyagilev has ruled Moscow's nightlife for its two years of existence, and many hazily-remembered nights of crazy parties, exotic shows, memorable (and not-so-memorable) hookups, and oh yes- those bathrooms will be fondly missed.

Most pundits place the closing party around April, since Dyagilev's lease is up in June- stay tuned for more details!

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Update: Dyagilev lovers never fear, Gorobiy/Kozlov/Lazarevich's new venue to replace Dyagilev is rumoured to be located near Rai, and should be opening around September.

Unsubstantiated rumours also suggest that the new venue has already hosted a couple of events, although given the tightness of Moscow construction schedules and purported timing of the opening, I find it a little hard to believe they would keep a finished club under wraps for 6-9 months.

Dyagilev's closing party has been scheduled for April 26, 2008.

Review: Fabrique (Фабрик)

2008-01-15T20:55:00.000+03:00

Opening Hours: Fri-Sat, 11pm-7am

Category: Mid-Range

Feis Kontrol Rating: Moderate - 3/5

Address: Kosmodamianskaya Nab., 2.

M: Novokuznetskaya

Phone: +7 (495) 953 6576, +7 (903) 788 8388 (table reservations)

Website: http://www.fabrique.ru/

Often unfairly billed as the club to visit if you can't make it into one of the megaclubs, Fabrique is a Moscow institution and is packed every weekend with fun people who are out to party. Especially if you need a break from the attitude of the high-end clubs, Fabrique's mix of great music (if you like House), range of atmospheres, friendly crowd and reasonable drink prices make it a great place to spend an evening.

Fabrique is located on the embankment accross from the Kremlin and a little downriver, a few blocks from where First used to be. The entrance on the left is the non-VIP entrance and especially since Fabrique is a large club, Feis Kontrol does tend to be easier-going before midnight. Additionally, this is one of the few clubs in Moscow where being a foreigner can work to your advantage with Feis Kontrol.

Fabrique's overwhelming design style is post-industrialist lined with kitschy touches, a throwback to the warehouse parties at the birth of house music. The glass floor, red leather staircase, and ice rink lend it just enough "Moscow" to remind you where you are.

Once through Feis Kontrol and the coatcheck, you pass the upstairs bathrooms (which are a messy squat toilet, don't know why the club doesn't put in decent toilets), and find yourself in a long upstairs lounge, which is sometimes used for fashion shows. Most weekends it's lined with tables and booths (since Fabrique also serves food), and faces the outdoor bar, which is a refreshing blast of fresh air (and a frozen-over terrace for skating) in winter, and a sultry escape for outdoor canoodling (terrace duly converted to VIP-table area) in summer. Another upstairs favourite is the balcony overlooking the cavernous dance floor which provides a entertaining view of the seething masses writhing to house music with varying degrees of coordination. There's also a smaller back room which plays different beats and is often booked out for parties.

Down a spiral, red-leather upholstered staircase, you emerge in the concrete jungle of the lower bar, where most non-dancers congregate. There are several (usually free) lounges, and a long bar where most new introductions are made. The bar gives way to the dance floor via a short staircase, and Fabrique is one of the few Moscow clubs to properly separate its dance floor so people can concentrate on the music and dancing.

Behind the dancefloor (and the ubiquitous gogo dancers), there is a lower pit-like area populated by more tables and lounges, and behind that, more bathrooms and another bar. Trust me, this is not an easy club layout, but exploring can be rewarding!

The crowd at Fabrique tends to be younger than the megaclubs, with a mix of students, expats, and younger Russians who are looking to party and have a good time. While the girls typically aren't as gorgeous as at the megaclubs, they're more likely to speak English, have interesting careers and backgrounds, actually be interested in meeting you, and will go home with you much more readily than the Barbie Dolls you've been lusting after at Most, who are much more interested in catching Mr Prokhorov's attention than yours.

Fabrique is a club that takes its House music seriously, although the club regularly hosts well-known DJ's, so you can sometimes catch some big names and variety of styles.

Overall, Fabrique is a great location for a fun night out if you're looking for reliably good House music, cheaper drinks, a friendly crowd, and mild Feis Kontrol, and is the leader among Moscow's mid-range nightclubs.

Happy New Year Moscow!

2008-01-15T20:42:00.000+03:00

Fresh back from vacation, MoscowMAXIMUM is ready to continue providing the most comprehensive and up-to-date English-language news and reviews of the nightlife in the greatest party city in the world!

It already looks like an action-packed next few months in Moscow clubland, the club at Soho Rooms is set to open in the next few weeks, First is rumoured to be re-opening (at least something at First's last known location), although the Moscow opening of club megachain Pacha has reportedly been delayed due to investor disagreements.

Please email or comment if you have any thoughts, questions, suggestions for clubs to review or issues that you think should be addressed on MoscowMAXIMUM!

Max

Review: Solyanka (Солянка)

2007-12-26T18:44:00.000+03:00

Opening Hours: Thu-Sat, 11pm-7am
Category: Lounge, Mid-Range,
Feis Kontrol Rating: Easy - 2/5 (depends on how you fit the scene)
Address: Solyanka Ul., 11/6.
M: Kitai Gorod
Phone: +7 (495) 221-7557
Website: http://www.s-11.ru/

In the Summer of 2007, Solyanka semi-officially opened to "rave" reviews. Positioned as a more democratic alternative to Gazgolder, and aimed at Moscow's burgeoning Nu Rave scene, this club is often packed with more neon than a 1980's ski suit store.

It's hard to precisely articulate what constitutes the Nu Rave scene in Moscow (or perhaps I'm just too old and uncool to understand it), but it evidently involves finding truckloads of crap stuff from the late 1980's (think leggings, Atari t-shirts, bad sunglasses- pretty much anything neon), and wearing it out in public.

Since I couldn't find many decent photos of Solyanka online, most of the photos on this post are of the types of people who are there, like these guys on the left- don't they look like lots of fun to party with?

Solyanka is the epicenter of this Nu Rave scene, well, it plus newcomer Justo Bain Douche, which is more hipster, and less nu rave, but who cares, I don't like either of them. They take pretension levels to a new high, with patrons thinking that they're even cooler than all the glamorous losers who go to the megaclubs, which makes them even more pretentious. They look down at the poor little empty-headed bimbos at the other clubs, forgetting that they're the idiots wearing 1988 neon (in fact, J.A.B was screening "Back to the Future" the other night, and the fashion made me think that I was in Solyanka), not to mention the other weekend I swear there was some guy that looked like Michael J Fox running around with his puffer vest.

Varying tastes aside, Solyanka is certainly a great venue, housed in an old mansion (similar to XIII), thoroughly renovated to house a spacious venue with lots of interesting design elements. Through a gateway, you line for face control, and then if admitted, most pay 500 rubles (much has been made of a hipster club being one of the few to charge cover) and proceed to the second floor. The interior resembles a large apartment, with several rooms located off a long corridor. The nearest room houses a bar and some couches for chilling (a common pastime in this club), the centre room has more couches and tables, and then the main room has the DJ located in front of a large multimedia installation, a large open space, and some great windowsills on which people can perch when not dancing. At the far end is a larger bar facing a wooden slat wall, with large brass circular lights artistically arranged over the bar.

The overall decor is that of quasi 1950's space-age furniture juxtaposed with the old dilapidated grandeur of the building, and a couple of higher-tech touches which contrast both and work really well.

The DJ's tend to be more adventurous than the megaclubs, with a mix of electronica and grunge house mixed in with some of the same house as at other clubs.

As previously noted, the crowd tends to be younger, and aims for the hipster chic look, and fewer of the glamourous poseurs found in the pafosny clubs and megaclubs (these are more unglamorous poseurs). While there are still stunning girls and good-looking guys, the "edgy" look the club is looking for tends to value the Nu Rave look, attire and attitude over more "traditional" feis kontrol attributes, so there are definitely patrons whose aesthetics and waistlines wouldn't be welcome at Dyagilev.

Those who actively dislike the megaclub scene or are looking for a different scene will find a lot to like about Solyanka (and the food is pretty good too!). Despite it not being my taste, it is a quality venue, and extremely popular with the crowd it's looking to attract. Even I bregudgingly occasionally turn up for particular events, and have a good time at a great venue with great tunes.

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Update: Some friends & I hit Solyanka for dinner last weekend, and while enjoying a pleasant (and great value) meal, we were duly informed that since Solyanka turned into a club at 11pm, feis kontrol would be patrolling the dining room, and we would be asked to pay the 300RUB cover. WTF? This strikes a new low for penny-pinching Moscow venues, but I guess this is what you have to do when you have 15yo patrons.

Review: The Real McCoy (Реял МакКой)

2007-12-26T16:39:00.000+03:00

Opening Hours: 24/7

Category: Democratic, Bar

Feis Kontrol Rating: Non-existant for foreigners, otherwise Low - 1/5

Address: Kudrinskaya Pl. 1., (in the base of the Stalin building)

M: Barrikadnaya, Krasnopresnenskaya

Phone: +7 (495) 255-4144

Website: http://www.mccoy.ru/

The Real McCoy is a Moscow institution for expats and tourists alike. It is open 24/7, has virtually no face control, and usually has drunken girls topless on the bar by ~11pm Thu/Fri/Sat nights (and occasionally on other nights). There is no surer place to find a willing girl for the evening (of questionable virtue and aesthetics, but then probably so are you if you're there looking for her), except perhaps Boar House or Hungry Duck, and McCoy's has the benefit of a "no hookers" policy, so no matter how ludicrous the proposition you receive, it's probably not (directly) financially motivated.

Another great benefit of this bar is it has the largest and strongest Long Island Iced Tea's in Moscow for less than $10, which are a sure-fire way to start (or end) the evening.

McCoy's is located in the base of the Kudrinskaya Stalin Dom (one of the Seven Sisters), which makes it a unique place to visit, and is across the road from the Barrikadnaya Metro station (which may be one of the reasons so many of the podmoskovia girls who frequent it come from the NW of the city). Once through the narrow entrance, you find yourself with a coat check and the infamous unisex bathrooms on the left, and the main room to your right. The bar is on the left side of the room, with the dancefloor on the right, some tables and chairs towards the back, and a little-noticed door at the far end of the room leading back to another quieter room with more tables and booths. There is a sole window looking out at the world next to the dancefloor, through which passers-by can take note of the insanity inside, and routinely be flashed from girls inside the bar.

McCoy's maintains a faux-speakeasy decor, with hard wooden floors and rough-hewn tables with sturdy chairs (they would have to be, considering the abuse they get). There are advertisements from prohibition adorning the walls, and the bathrooms are papered with quaint advertisements from publications of the period.

McCoy's has surprisingly good food at reasonable prices. A mix of American staples and Tex-Mex, with some Euro favourites provides a hearty meal before some serious partying, and the low prices attract a diverse crowd of poor expats and ravenous studentki.

As a fan of Moscow Russkie-Pop and house music, one of my great letdowns about McCoy's is the music. Endless repetitions of tired old wedding music (think "Come on Eileen") grates on the ears and no number of Long Island's will drown it out.

Despite my earlier comment regarding the old & unattractive women who frequent McCoy's, there are a smattering of attractive students and even intelligent professional girls who, dissillusioned with Russian men or just up for a good time come there to meet foreigners, and they have far less of the attitude and pretensions of the girls at the pafosny clubs.

In my opinion, the most objectionable element of McCoy's is the profusion of sweaty, drunk, horny middle-aged male expats and tourists, which make quiet enjoyment of one's drink and amusement at the never-ending entertainment a logistical challenge for even the hardiest club-goer.

In short McCoy's is not everyone's cup of tea, but is certainly a diversion from the club scene and for someone looking for cheap drinks, a good time, friendly atmosphere, plenty of foreigners and available (generally) English-speaking girls, it's a fine place.

Review: GQ Bar (GQ Бар)

2007-12-25T20:02:00.000+03:00

Opening Hours: 24/7 (Bar), 12-last customer (Cafe)
Category: Lounge, Pre-Party, Bar
Feis Kontrol Rating: Low - 1/5, Dress smart
Address: Balchug Ul., 17
M: Novokuznetskaya
Phone: +7 (495) 956-7775
Website: http://bar.gq.ru/

GQ Bar opened with much fanfare in March 2007 as Moscow restauranteur extraordinaire Arkadiy Novikov's latest and greatest venture (in collaboration with Conde Nost Publishing- hence the name).

It was designed along a similar theme to some of his other restaurant/lounges such as Galereya and Aist, but on a more ambitious scale. The venue consists of a cafe-style restaurant (similar to Galereya), and a more upscale restaurant (similar to 2nd floor at Aist), as well as a long bar- which is the subject of this review.

In my opinion, the better scene at GQ is actually in the cafe, where there's more entertaining "see & be seen" Muscovites, hotter girls, and fewer lonely tourists and hookers.

To find GQ Bar, go right as you enter GQ, coolly dismissing the haughty greetings from the maitre'd's (who would have duly informed you that all tables in the empty cafe were reserved anyhow), and into a long narrow room, the decor of which is part throwback to the English gentleman's clubs of old, and cutting edge, with a bar made of crushed black glass, interwoven with fiber optics for some dazzling visual effects.

The long bar is lined with barstools for those in front, and some curious niches at either end, where you can actually sit behind the bar, confusing some patrons who try to order drinks from other customers sitting behind them.

Opposite the bar, the wall is lined with bookshelves and wine, there's a fireplace with candles, and overstuffed couches which take up far too much space. At either end of the bar is a staircase which takes you to a mezzanine on top of the bar where more lounges and tables are located. Barstaff are generally snooty, although somewhat knowledgable about the cocktails and food they serve.

GQ Bar is a popular pre-party spot on Friday and Saturday evenings, when it's packed from about 9pm to 1am, and the bar has gogo dancers and the music is amped to get the crowd in the mood.

You could fill a book with all the things I dislike about GQ Bar. First & foremost, it's an uncomfortable space, this long skinny bar gets very busy, and it's impossible to move through the crowd, or find a comfortable place to stand without getting jostled. The second floor mezzanine seems to serve no appreciable purpose, you might as well be marooned on Mars up there, since the view is not good enough to be a reason to sit there, yet the bar and music are too loud up there to be a nice secluded space to talk with friends.

The attitude and practices of the bartenders add further injury to the unjustifiably high prices, they routinely try and serve patrons Imperia (one of the most expensive vodkas at approx $40/shot), when they request a vodka mixed drink. I've personally had arguments where they have done this and then refuse to remake the drink with a reasonably priced (ie $20/shot) vodka.

The crowd is significantly older than most places in Moscow, and reflects a mix of over-the-hill hookers, visiting businessmen (one of the reasons for the oversupply of prostitutes), and others who think it's "cool" to be in GQ's bar (Note: it is still arguably "cool" to be in one of the restaurants). Hordes of tourists, who've read that GQ Bar is the "it" place to be throng the place gushing about how they were able to get past "face control", who are next to useless.

One of GQ Bar's redeeming features is that it is (like Galereya) one of the few (admittedly sparsely) populated places on a Monday or Tuesday evening, the nights that this city that never sleeps is practically clinically dead. The resident DJ is also usually pretty good, playing an appropriate mix of house for the chill environment.

Go and experience the pretension of GQ for yourself, post comments if you agree or disagree!

Review: Soho Rooms (Сохо Румс)

2007-12-24T15:33:00.000+03:00

Opening Hours: Nightclub Fri/Sat 11-last customer (Restaurant/Lounge 24 hours /7 days)
Category: Ultra-Exclusive, Lounge, Bar, Summer, Pre-Party
Feis Kontrol Rating: Tough- 4/5
Address: Savvinskiy Bol. Pereulok 12., Str 8 (entrance off Savvinskaya Nab.)
M: Sportivnaya, Frunzenskaya (none, really)
Phone: +7 (495) 988-7444 (Restaurant); +7 (495) 988-7474 (Nightclub); +7 (985) 410-8841 (Luba- Guest-List)
Website: http://www.sohorooms.com/

Wow.

For the last few weeks, Moscow has been getting a glimpse of what's to come once Soho Rooms officially opens for New Years Eve. This extraordinary venue already offers a spectacular ground floor bar, a beautifully appointed second-story restaurant, a spacious third-floor lounge, and a discreet cocktail bar. The nightclub finishes construction and opens this weekend, and in Summer Soho Rooms will open a spacious Pool Terrace, offering gorgeous views across the River and towards the White House, and no less than two swimming pools. All of this is housed in a purpose constructed location on the foundations of an old silk factory.

It is evident from the attention to detail and high-class finishes that the (undisclosed) budget to open Soho Rooms was considerable. From the liberal useage of marble, an onyx bar, the exquisite paintwork and luxurious furnishings, the owners have sought to position Soho Rooms as a very high-end venue.

Soho Rooms is the brainchild of Dmitriy Braude, longtime owner of Garage, and veteran of the Moscow nightlife scene. He is joined by two financing partners and D’lux Promo (Opera, Shambala), and the team have definitive views on the type of place they want Soho Rooms to be. Not content to open yet another nightclub, or even nightclub/restaurant, they seek to create a new type of Moscow experience, a venue that can cater to the various tastes of Moscow's high-end crowd, whether they seek to relax on a summer deck or in the lounge, have a delicious meal (they have imported a chef from the US White House and Asian chefs for their fusion), or party till dawn.

This product and service offering is designed to fill the notorious "dead space" of a Moscow evening, the early evening (pre-dinner ~6-9) and the post-dinner/pre-pre-party time (post dinner ~11-1). It's an ambitious plan, and if they pull it off, they really will do a service to Moscow and make this place an obligatory stop on the Moscow circuit.

From the entrance and requisite feis kontrol on Savvinskaya Nab., adjacent entrances for the restaurant/lounge and club funnel people into the appropriate coat checks and interior. Heading left into the bar/lounge, a two-story open room lined with floor-to-ceiling windows (containing gogo dancers on the sills) and lounge tables on the left is framed by a opulent staircase descending on your right. At the base of the staircase, a bar and some standing space for people to congregate is surrounded by more tables and the DJ booth (yet to see if DJ booth/style and gogo dancers will be there after the club opens). Hanging overhead is a beautiful optical glass/light fixture. In a small anteroom to the right of the base of the stairs a small banquette allows people a respite from the hubbub.

Proceeding up the stairs, the second floor restaurant is spacious and modern, with warm hues from the golden onyx bar and African hardwood panelled roof. I have not had a chance to dine here yet but what I saw looked good (almost as good as the girls dining there).

Proceeding up another narrow staircase to the left brings you to the third floor and a quieter lounge-type environment, more befitting to a chat with friends or a quiet cigar. The sumptuous yet simple furnishings complement the artificially aged tapestry-like walls. The lounge looks out onto what will be the Pool Terrace in Summer (with yet another separate entrance), and itself has a nice view up the Moscow River.

Back at the entrance, proceding straight ahead, you pass the main bathrooms (a manager stressed that the clubs design focused on ensuring sufficient bathroom and coatcheck space), which are inventive for the women's bathrooms being located on a mezzanine above the men's, ensuring both a good view for the men looking up and the women looking down as they survey the scene.

The club itself is a typical two-story rectangular design, with large open dancefloor surrounded by an upper floor balcony, enclosures for gogo dancers, a retractable stage, and large bars on both sides of the dancefloor. As the club was still under construction last weekend, I can't comment much on the design. The unique feature of the club is the spiral staircase leading up into the roof, leading to another swimming pool, as well as bathrooms and changing rooms, for those who would like to swim during their nightclubbing (and who doesn't?). The club is well-sized too, designed to be much smaller than the megaclubs (slightly smaller than Most), to ensure quality feis kontrol.

It's far too preliminary to be able to adequately review the establishment and its prospects but first impressions are extremely positive. The crowd was a stunning mix of mostly friends-of-friends of the owners, but everyone seemed to be having a great time. The DJ spun some original and refreshing mixes and the drinks were more reasonably priced (but only just) than Most or Rai (and thankfully they have Red Bull!).

Potential pitfalls for the venue include it trying to go too far to satisfy too many areas of Moscow's tastes, because above all, Moscow is fickle and things get old quickly, so the execution of all aspects will need to be exceptional. It's a very big venue, and especially once other areas open in summer, maintaining feis kontrol will be tough, else it will experience the same quality deterioration as Rai, now too-often populated by 15-year-olds or male patrons who bear closer resemblence to simians than clubbers. In some areas of the bar, it was already a little difficult to move past people, even with the limited crowds of the last couple of weekends.

I look forward to visiting again once the nightclub (Disco Room) has opened, to try the restaurant, and see how the establishment settles in, but overall, this is the best new concept and new venue I have seen in a long time (and I've been impressed with Most (but not most)).

Problems with feis kontrol? There's always 1171 down the road.

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Update: Jan 2008

I had the chance to dine at Soho Rooms recently, and I was shocked. The food was adventurous, well-presented, and absolutely delicious. This website does not typically review restaurants, but our meal was too good to pass unnoted. Chef Tim Freeman (imported from Texas of all places) has concocted an elaborate (too adventurous for most local diners, I fear- would recommend adding some "safe" items) menu which combines mostly foreign flavours into true fusion cooking, the likes of which I haven't often experienced in my time in Moscow.

If you have have the interest and time (it takes a while), permit Tim and his sous-chef (from the Phillipines) to take the lead and provide you with the dishes they feel like preparing- I can guarantee you some delicious surprises, like special sorbet prepared at the table using liquid nitrogen, or Szechuan buttons that numb your mouth. I can't remember the last time my taste buds were truly engaged by a Moscow meal.

The restaurant is a little dim, and it's not a cheap meal, but if there are more delights to come from that kitchen like I experienced on my first visit, I'll certainly be a regular at the Soho Rooms restaurant.

So... Thumbs up for the bar & the restaurant- looking forward to the nightclub!

(FYI- please note that I am not being compensated in any way by Soho Rooms, it's just been a long while since I was this excited by a new venue in Moscow!)

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Update: Feb 2008

Soho Rooms "Disco Room" Nightclub is finally open! The swank new club exploded onto the Moscow scene with perfect timing, two days after the flaming destruction of Dyagilev (coincidence?). The already almost impassable Savvinskaya Nab. has now almost completely ground to a halt as hordes of partygoers assail the doors of Moscow's newest club sensation.

The club is accessible through a separate entrance, although so far the club and bar are intermingled (a bad thing in my opinion if you read below). Through the main doors, a lower level to your right houses the men's bathroom, while a mezzanine directly above is the women's, complete with Juliette-style balcony for the ladies to watch the world go by. Past a large mirror (in Moscow- what else?) and the coat check is a discreet cocktail lounge, perfect for a slightly more intimate discussion with someone you've met in the club- a nice detail many clubs fail to offer.

It's a little too early to pass judgement on Feis Kontrol, but aside from the timing and flow issues (again, mentioned below), the crowd so far on the nights I've been there has been high quality, with plenty of gorgeous girls attracted from some corner of heaven who aren't regulars on the Moscow club scene. Natalia Vodianova, Lucy Liu, and Marat Safin were all in attendance this last weekend (although not together- an interesting mental picture).

The club itself is beautifully done, as with the rest of Soho Rooms no expense has been spared on design or decor. Once through the entrance corridor (a cleverly mirror-lined passage which refracts lasers in every direction), the club itself opens in front of you. The first impression for those used to Opera, Dyaglilev, etc, is that it's really small. The simple rectangular layout of the space with a two-tier design (VIP tables upstairs and at the back of the main room), bars on both sides of the main floor, and part of the floor taken up by a (retractable) stage and a dancer podium makes the capacity about half that of Most, at a guess. This is not necessarily a bad thing, as the overall large size of Soho Rooms as a whole and management's stated desire to keep tight feis kontrol means the club is appropriately sized for it's intention to be an exclusive party venue.

Most surfaces of the club are done in sparkling black, and the comparatively restrained design, furniture, and lighting bear more than a passing resemblance to Most, but without the basement exposed-brick feel. The most extravagant gimmick is the (as-yet unused) spiral staircase to provide access to the roof terrace and pool in summer. Combined with a kick-ass lighting system, the decor, dancers and layout works, especially with the thoughtfull addition of enough bar space that's it's straightforward to get a drink from the friendly bar staff.

The DJ line-up I've seen so far has been a mix of the regular top Moscow DJ's, with an occasional rotation by some lesser-known and slightly more progressive names. The three nights I've been there, they have persisted with the peculiar Moscow tradition of having some one-hit wonder group (usually imported) interrupt an otherwise great DJ set to croon their song, and then let the crowd down by attempting something else quasi-creative while the Russian-only speaking crowd shuffles uncomfortably. Thankfully (unlike Rai), they have at least had current one-hit wonders! Maybe this type of show will only be for the duration of opening parties, but admittedly the space is perfectly sized for some intimate and proper concerts on non-weekend nights with real stars, should they wish to pursue this route.

The club's only failing so far is that it's still finding it's soul. While it's a great space with great music, crowd and dancers, it took till well after 2am on Fri/Sat to really feel like a party. In my opinion, this is partially due to the challenge it faces being attached to a popular dinner and pre-party space. Rather than other nightclubs who have a crowd waiting outside from shortly after opening so they can quickly fill the space, patrons (unusually for Moscow- overwhelmingly male) dribble in from 11pm onwards out of the bar and restaurant, giving the space a half-full, guys-only feel well into the evening. Hopefully this will be sorted soon, and the Disco Room will be a complementary addition to the excellent Soho Rooms venture.

Review: Night Flight (Ночной Полет / Найт Флайт)

2007-12-23T19:58:00.000+03:00

Opening Hours: 7 days 9pm-5am (Restaurant 6pm-4am)

Category: Democratic

Feis Kontrol Rating: Low - 1/5, Dress nicely

Address: Tverskaya Ul., 17

M: Pushkinskaya/Tverskaya/Chekovskaya

Phone: +7 (495) 629-4165

Website: http://www.nightflight.ru/

Despite this site's focus on reviewing the latest and greatest of Moscow nightlife and its nightclub scene, I hope to ultimately cover most of what Moscow has to offer, and where better to start than the longest-running and most famous of Moscow's nightspots- Night Flight? (Besides, this site gets so many visitors deposited from Google searches looking for Night Flight, the demand is obviously there).

Let's get one thing straight- Night Flight is not (and nor does it really pretend to be) anything but what it is- a hooker bar. People generally go there to pick up prostitutes. This is not my area of specialty, and I can't vouch for the quality of any of their services or expertise. What I will say, is that from a purely aesthetic point of view, while there are plenty of attractive girls there, many are somewhat past their prime, and my understanding is the hottest girls available for this type of entertainment are best found at strip clubs like Bordo, Safari, etc. (again, not my area of expertise).

If you're not looking for hookers, there's only three (OK, maybe 2.5) possible reasons to go there:

1) The Scandinavian restaurant upstairs is actually really good (no, I'm not kidding).

2) If you're new to or visiting Moscow and you've never experienced a hooker bar before, it's worth it just to visit for a drink (included in the cover charge). The experience of being fawned over by dozens of gorgeous women with eye-opening proposals (sometimes the only English they know) is pretty entertaining.

2.5) If it's a Monday or Tuesday night and you're REALLY stuck for anywhere to go that has any life or people at all, then I've heard this as a justification to be at Night Flight (but I don't believe it)

Photos: Night Flight

Review: Gazgolder (Газгольдер)

2007-12-21T18:19:00.000+03:00

Opening Hours: Occasional
Category: Ultra-Exclusive

Feis Kontrol Rating: Ultra Tough- 5/5
Address: Nizhniy Susalniy per., 5
M: Kurskaya
Phone: +7 (985) 226 33 40
Website: http://www.gazgolder.com/

The almost mythical nightclub Gazgolder can be a refreshing break from the intensity of "glam" Moscow nightlife typified by Dyagilev, Opera, and especially Rai. While the club attracts some of the same crowd, the "typical" Gazgolder patron tends to think of themselves as more hardcore "old-school" Moscow nightlife denizens attracted more by the eclectic mix of DJ's and uber-chic design of the club, not to mention their insider knowledge of when the club will actually be open. (whether this is true or not you'll have to visit and judge for yourself!)

Gazgolder is located in the remains of an old gas distribution facility, nestled behind the Kursk railway station. The dilapidated circular red-brick gas storage towars and deserted broken-paned factory buildings surrounding Gazgolder (and it's oft-mistaken sister establishment Gazgallery) lend the setting an eerie disquieting aura, making you long for the warm glow of the lights and music emanating from the club's interior.

The first challenge you face should you wish to visit Gazgolder is finding out when it's open. Since early 2007 the club has officially been closed, but is regularly open on particular weekend nights (as well as occasional weeknights for semi-private events like most Moscow clubs), usually to showcase a visiting prominent DJ.

The second challenge is finding it. The club is not marked, and some nights there is no external evidence that there's actually a club at that address, although the recent demolition of an adjacent structure now leaves the main entrance exposed to the street.

The biggest challenge is its legendarily vicious feis kontrol. Although (unlike Krysha), the club doesn't work off a strict list, they act (and often say) as if they do. Here an edgier fashion ensemble may assist (as opposed to "who can wear the biggest designer logo" at Rai), and it definitely helps to know someone who's a regular. The often female feis kontrollers are highly efficient and pleas fall on deaf ears, so on the bright side there's rarely any line outside.

Once inside, the charm of Gazgolder becomes apparent. The club's decor is a raw red brick industrial space decorated with opulent furnishings, overstuffed couches, ornate mirrors, chandeliers, and carved tables. It's done extremely well, and creates an impression of more of a New York-style club than the excess of typical Moscow nightclubs. Like at it's frequently-compared cousin Krysha (the two share a similar crowd and penchant for illicit substances), Gazgolder eschews gogo dancers, stage performances, acrobats and paid models in favour of a more serious focus on the DJ and the typical electronica or house-type music that is most popular here. That said, the venue and crowd is certainly beautiful enough that you don't feel like you're missing anything.

The main room contains a number of couches and tables before it gives way to a large dancefloor (and conveniently-located mirror), behind which the DJ is housed on a stage-like recessed room.

It's easy to miss Gazgolder's other floors or it's outdoor courtyard, since access to both is hidden at the far end of the smaller room's bar. A narrow staircase leads to an upper floor, where a side room is often crowded with people looking for or taking part in various stimulants, acts of passion, or both. The main attic-like room at the end of the corridor is my favourite place in Gazgolder, a DJ spins a mellower but still danceable mix of tunes in an environment that is much more like a lounge-room than nightclub. Couches draped with devushki, and tables are scattered throughout the room, and a seemingly ad-hoc bar provides patrons with much-needed refreshment. The gabled roof with thick wooden beams reaching almost to the floor and the old wooden floorboards make this homely environment a great place to chill, meet new friends, or take a break from the downstairs craziness.

Gazgolder tends to get going early, if you turn up around midnight you generally won't be in an empty room, as at other clubs, and it often goes very late, although as mentioned previously, a lot of the patrons will make a trek to Krysha later in the evening.

The crowd itself is pretty friendly, but often slightly aloof with the smugness that they are the cultured, cool, and artsy crowd that wouldn't be seen dead at Dyagilev (despite that fact that you'll see them there the next evening), and protest that only Gazgolder, Krysha, Solyanka and Justo Bain Douche are worthy places to party in Moscow (you know who you are). As usual, if you can overlook or ignore this attitude, then there are some really interesting people here, and you're actually more likely to have a worthwhile conversation in Gazgolder than the Megaclubs, where people running around like dogs in heat in search of something to fuck are more likely to start humping each other on the dancefloor than communicate using something resembling words.

Aesthetically, the crowd is at once more homogeneous yet more diverse than at the megaclubs. The slightly older (men at least) average of late-twenties to mid-thirties mix has fewer of the super-old and super-young found elsewhere, and the mix of stunning models and young golden youth is supplemented by an artsier and (presumably) intelligentsia crowd that can be visually (and legitimately) entertaining.

My overall opinion is that Gazgolder is an excellent, if unpredictable venue (it can sometimes be largely empty). It makes a great alternative to the megaclubs (think of it as the "Winter Krysha"), and is also a great place to head if fell you're not quite up for the insanity of a megaclub.

Ghosts of Moscow Past: The CLOSED Clubs

2007-12-12T20:50:00.000+03:00

Moscow moves quickly (so quickly I'm surprised Dyagilev is still around, it's over a year old).

Seriously, I opened a "Moscow Club Guide" published in March 2006, and of the 12 "nightclubs" listed, only seven remain open (and this includes Propaganda, Night Flight, and Che).

I'm constantly surprised by the number of hits on this site by people searching for Leto (Лето), Osen (Осень), and Zima (Зима). These clubs closed years ago. If you want the same type of experience, go to Dyagilev!

To help avoid confusion, I leave nightclub reviews of closed venues on the site, but in the links to your right, they're listed as "CLOSED".

The Girls of Moscow Nightclubs

2007-12-12T18:38:00.000+03:00

OK, after so many requests, it's time to write (or at least post photos) of what you all apparently want to see: Russian girls.

Yes, it's true. Moscow's nightclubs have some of the most beautiful girls in the world.

There are the professional go-go dancers:

And another couple of everyone's favourite Anka:

And on the other, scores of "regular" girls:

And every night, some of these girls have the urge to bare it for the camera:

Come to Moscow and see them for yourself! If you want to watch some more from afar, site's like Geometria, Cityparty, 44100 and elite can satisfy your soft-porn voyeuristic fantasies.

Review: Garage (Гараж)

2007-12-11T20:44:00.000+03:00

Opening Hours: 24 hours/7 days

Category: Post-Party

Feis Kontrol Rating: Moderate- 3/5

Address: Tverskaya 16/2

M: Pushkinskaya, Tverskaya

Phone: +7 (495) 650-1848

Website: http://www.garageclub.ru/

Garage is one of Moscow's longest-running clubs (since 1998), and is housed in a dark basement beneath a quasi-condemned building facing Pushkin Square. The automotive theme is evident from the rear-end of a old car mounted above the entrance door, and a couch and a few pictures downstairs, but everyone pretty much ignores it otherwise.

Although Garage is open 24/7, it has a lively crowd only on particular days of the week. It is pretty much the only place to be in Moscow after 2am on Wednesdays and Sundays (for its legendary R'n'B parties), and is one of the best late night places (after 5am) on Fri/Sat nights.

The crowd at Garage is a true cross-representation of the highs and the lows of Moscow's nightlife denizens. Despite this club being the antithesis of the glamour and excess of Moscow's top clubs, it is perennially popular with a certain segment of the "in" crowd, including a lot of the dancers, bartenders and managers of many of Moscow's top venues. By virtue of it being a lot more low-key than say, Dyagilev, it attracts "serious" party goers for whom the cheaper drinks and music focus on certain nights is more important than being in the "right" place. Since it's located around the corner from one of Moscow's other long-standing and illustrious institutions, Night Flight, a lot of the Night Flight girls (hookers) come by Garage after it closes to see if they can pick up a few more tricks for the evening. The cheap drinks and constant opening hours attract students, and it's longstanding existence ensures its coverage in travel guides, and so unsuspecting clueless tourists are also often in attendance (having paid off the security guys).

All of this makes a potent mix of the familar and downright random on any given night in Garage, which is part of the fun. The food is also pretty good, as are the kalyan's (hookah's) available 24/7. Some of my more entertaining Moscow dining experiences, (such as sushi off naked girls- mind the wasabi!) have also taken place here, as Garage has an enthusiastic spirit of innovation- even after all this time.

Like most Moscow clubs, Garage has gogo girls, although the cramped environment, low headroom, and somewhat less statuesque physiques of these girls makes it almost a parody of the larger clubs, and in some cases simply acts as a backdrop to the debauchery that's often taking place on the bars, the stage, and certainly the impromptu sessions on the stripper pole. The late night photos from Garage on Geometria have left many people a little concerned (and more than a little enlightened) about who or what they did the night before, I'm sure (see below).

Obtaining entrance to Garage can be downright painful. The feis kontrol (or lack thereof) has a reputation of being the most capricious and unpredictable in Moscow. Garage only has professional feis kontrol late night on weekends, and the other nights have party promoters, or the regular security goons on the door. Unfamiliar faces will often be turned away or hit up for "cover charges" (entrance to Garage is free), and even regulars will sometimes be randomly rejected. This can be pretty frustrating for such a downmarket place, especially on a given Tuesday when you know it's completely empty.

The club itself consists of two bars and a slightly separated dancefloor, adjacent to a stage with a stripper pole which is often put to good use by amateurs and professionals. The room further from the dancefloor has tables and is more of a chillout location to smoke kalyan and is primarily a hangout for the crew that seems to be here every night and seem to know everyone. The second bar is a good place to perch and watch the entertainment, and the dancefloor is the habitat for everyone from off-work professional dancers to partygoers stumbling around coming down from whatever substance they've consumed, depending on the day and time.

Overall, I find Garage to be one of the most entertaining and consistent venues in Moscow. The anti-glam and rough edges of the venue give way to a crowd of surprisingly warm and friendly patrons and staff, and I like to consider it the Moscow nightclub version of "Cheers".

Most importantly, it provides a place to party on Wednesdays and Sundays, and for this alone the unpredictable feis kontrol and excessive propositions from hookers are a small price to pay.

Review: Club Barfly (Клуб БарФлай)

2007-12-11T19:33:00.000+03:00

Opening Hours: Noon-all night
Category: Lounge, Restaurant, Pre-Party?
Feis Kontrol Rating: Easy- 2/5
Address: Noviy Arbat 24, (below Oktabyr cinema)
M: Arbatskaya
Phone: +7 (495) 203-0547, 220-3839
Website: http://www.novikovgroup.ru/

Last weekend Club Barfly opened in the space that used to house Black October, underneath the Oktabyr cinema on Noviy Arbat. This joint venture between Novikov and "Quatro Amigos" (of Opera & Shambala fame) seems to be intent on souping up the atmosphere on weekends, and turning this lounge/restaurant into a hopping club. I'll be curious to see if this works.

They've promised to line up the best of DJ's, and have done some minor redecorating to the old Black October (also a Novikov venue), and the new place looks good, if somewhat identity-confused (I'm not surprised, one of the promotional flyers for the new venue promised an "alcohol-inspired" cuisine- a first even for Moscow!).

Despite a stated target market of a "rich and beautiful adult audience of at least 21-22 years", the opening night showed a marked tendencies to the mid-teenage Black October-type crowd, although admittedly somewhat more attractive than previously. Despite promises of "strict feis kontrol", my guess is the crowd that came here for Black October will be drawn to the same venue, and the feis kontrol will capitulate to fill the place.

The venue itself consists of a long bar along the back of a long, mostly rectangular room, with a polished marble floor and annoying interior support columns. Places for go-go dancers and a VIP room have been added to further align the bar with a more club-like atmosphere.

It will be interesting to see what this venue evolves into. I look forward to checking out the food in the near future. If I had to guess, if it is successful, it will attract a pre-party dinner scene giving way to high-end pre-party (at it's best, think Most), but I find it hard to see that it will compete with the high-end clubs later in the evening.

Overall, a successful opening and an interesting reincarnation of a tired venue.

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Update: 16/12/2007:

Having attempted to go to Barfly twice in the last week, I have to sadly report that it truly sucks.

On a recent Thursday, there was not a soul in the place. On Saturday night, despite a valiant attempt by some friends & I to dine there. The minimal number of patrons, poor service, unimaginative menu, and average quality food did not win any hearts from our group. I will not be returning.

Stop the Burn!

2007-11-16T21:50:00.000+03:00

I'm sad to report that yet another club has eschewed Red Bull in favour of Coca-Cola's inferior (and painfully sweeter) product- Burn.

Opera (following Rai) has now stopped serving Red Bull, leaving Dyagilev as the only megaclub still serving the party-prolonging (and apparently health-endangering) nectar of the gods.

Review: Club The Most (Мост)

2007-11-16T19:52:00.001+03:00

Opening Hours: Fri/Sat from 11pm - last customer

Category: Pre-Party, Ultra-Exclusive

Feis Kontrol Rating: Tough- 4/5

Address: Kuznetskiy Most, 6/3

M: Kuznetskiy Most

Phone: +7 (495) 226-6555

Website: N/A

Update: Jan 2009
After a minor refurbishment during Summer 2008 (resulting in a moved bar, DJ booth, and opening out the dancefloor a little), Most unfortunately hasn't really recovered, and visits here these days often find a relatively sparse crowd of people who couldn't make it past Feis Kontrol elsewhere but still want to be in a "top" club.
***********************************

Finally, after so many false starts so far this season, Moscow nightlife may finally have a new elitny nightclub that's here to stay! The Most opened on a stormy night which dampened some of it's outdoor arrangements, but the inside was a glitterfest of Moscow's beautiful, ultra-rich, semi-(or genuinely) famous, creepy, and the rest of us who managed to somehow land an invite. I'm delighted to report that a month on, it's as packed as ever, has a good crowd (think Krysha meets Simachev meets Dyagilev), and creative DJ's.

The Most is located in a Kuznetskiy Most basement, underneath the extravagant restaurant of the same name, and is partially owned by non-other than Roman Abramovich himself. The same location housed another nightclub called Most in the early 90's, but the location has undergone major renovation since then (excavating down another floor, for starters) and there has no doubt been some serious spending on the interior.

The dominant colour is a sparkling black with all sorts of glass walls, sparkling baubles, lasers, and flashing things (including than the go-go dancers and girls in attendance) which give the club a suspenseful, exciting feel, and ornate design elements like the enormous chandelier over the dancefloor and the gold-leaf mirrors provide a nice antique turn which soften what would otherwise be a more soulless "modern" interior. Although the club follows a typical 2-storey format with sunken dancefloor in the centre ringed by terraces, it is successfull due to well-planned design and more room to move throughout (and up & down) the club for all those "see & be seen" types (ie most people there) who like to roam throughout the club. There's only one annoying tiny spiral staircase nestled in the back of the club. The dance floor is set away from major thoroughfares, so unlike most clubs, those on the dancefloor don't have to be as jostled as in other locations (there's also a bar at each end of the dancefloor, a definite plus!)

The DJ's in attendance have so far been a mix of those who regularly do sets at other clubs including Dyagilev, Opera & Rai, so this has generated consistently good, if not overly inventive tunes.

The Most seems to have been successful in capturing the early (~12am-~2am) part of Moscow nightlife. As opposed to other popular Pre-Party venues (Bar 7, Simachev), Most has the design and vibe of a "real" club, although it gets decidedly less crowded after ~1am. It will be interesting to see how its crowd and positioning evolve over time.

In terms of negatives, apart from the attitude of some attendees at any new & exclusive place in Moscow, the coat check is awkwardly positioned, drinks are expensive, and that crazy spiral staircase is annoying, but all-in-all, great design, crowd, and music.

Overall, this is a great new addition to Moscow's nightlife and may be the most enduring of the many late-2007 openings.

Review: Bacardi Bar/ I Fiori (Бакарди Бар / И Фиори)

2007-10-27T20:30:00.000+04:00

Opening Hours: 24/7
Category: Pre-Party, Lounge
Feis Kontrol Rating: Easy- 1/5
Address: Novy Arbat 36/9
M: Smolenskaya
Phone: +7 (495) 290-7160
Website: www.i-fiori.ru

This weekend saw the opening of Bacardi Bar (officially called I Fiori), a new branded drinking establishment to join he ranks of Chivas, Courvoisier, Ballantynes, etc.

The is a large roughly square establishment, with brightly painted Bacardi-oriented murals on the wall houses a selection of lounge-like seating around tables for eating, drinking, hookahs, although as yet no dancing on tables. The space seems comfortable, but more akin to a quieter lounge than an active pre-party (think Simachev or Bar 7), so given the bar's likely extended opening hours, this may end up as a more popular all-hours cafe/lounge (e.g Gallereya, Courvoisier) than pre-party venue.

I will be interested to return on a non-opening weekend to see how it settles in, but on this first visit, the pumping (but good) music didn't really fit with the relaxed lounges & garish walls. To really support the music, I tihnk more standing/dancing area would be required than is currently available.

The bar is centrally located in the room, withi minimal manoevering space around it. The crowd is a mix of the usual Moscow club scene, mixed with a more corporate look, as if the bar is trying to reach out to a less fickle group of patrons.

Overall, definitely worth a follow-up visit or two to check out the food and how the crowd and atmosphere settle down, but a welcome addition to this part of town.

----------------------

Update: 14/11/2007:

Went for a late dinner on a recent Tuesday, crowd has settled down to a Galereya-type crew (but a little less wannabe), food is good (but typically overpriced), and I Fiori has a mellow feel to it. Definitely a good place to bring a crew to chill with a hookah and have something to eat.

Review: Versus (Версус)

2007-09-14T11:56:00.000+04:00

Opening Hours: 12pm-last customer, Fri/Sat
Category: Megaclub
Feis Kontrol Rating: Straighforward- 2/5
Address: 15A Oruzheyniy Pereulok
Phone: +7 (495) 225-1913
Website: N/A

Last night was the much anticipated (or at least over-advertised) launch of Versus, the first of the Fall Season nightclub openings in Moscow. A slightly damp (due to the miserable weather) crowd of Moscow clubbers, b (or c)-list celebrities, and the usual beautiful people entered the labyrinth and descended into the depths of this newly opened club near Mayakovskaya.

The venues is a confusing mix of stairways, labyrinthine rooms spread over 2 (or was it three?) floors, with a series of balconies and a glass walkway overlooking the central dancefloor and obligatory gogo girls. The design is fairly industrial and the unfinished/exposed/modern look here is central to the theme.

Drink prices are reasonable (at least by Moscow nightclub standards) and despite opening-night issues, the bar crew seemed to know what they were doing.

Unfortunately, despite being pitched at the pafusny clubbers that frequent Dyagilev, Rai, Opera, etc, I didn't get a sense that this club had anything to offer that would entice the current scene away from the reigning trio, so it wil be interesting to see if the club develops futher or quickly becomes a footnote in Moscow nightclub history.

Reflections on life and not quite love in Moscow...

2007-09-12T22:35:00.001+04:00

Below is an (English) reprint of an article that appeared in Moscow's new lifestyle magazine "Sex and the City" on the topic of "Sex & Money in Moscow", which I felt captured a certain element of Moscow's nightlife.
--------------------------------

Reflections on life and not quite love in Moscow

As the throbbing strains of Paul Oakenfeld's "Girls just want sex and money" filter through to the exterior of a high-end Moscow club, a harried feis kontroller scans the mob outside the door, and fields half-joking promises of sex in exchange for club entry from impossibly gorgeous young devushki in ridiculously high stillettos. Just another night out in Moscow, a city that worships at the the twin pantheon of sex and money to a degree not seen since the decline of Ancient Rome.

It's a fucked up adult version of Disneyland, and for a foreigner the price of entry is a high alcohol tolerance, an even higher bank balance, the ability to turn a blind eye to a moral code that would make an American stripper blush, and a chance, (just a slight chance) that you'll find yourself unable to ever return to the "real" world. For better or worse, Moscow has turned the corner from the insanity of the 90's, where a bottle of vodka cost $1, expats were rock stars, and having sex on a bar wouldn't raise an eyebrow. On the other hand, 10 years of improving dentistry, fashion, cosmetics (and cosmetic surgery) have a certain upside, and there's still plenty of threesomes in restaurant bathrooms to go around. Besides, the nightclubs and restaurants are better these days, even if they cost a thousand times the price they did back then.

Meanwhile, back in the club, a girl wanting to get past decides the best way to achieve this is to stick her tongue down your throat (she's right), a trip to the bathroom involves a decision as to whether that visit involves company (which may or may not be paid for), and the bumping and grinding of a mix of models, hookers, dancers, and the occasional regular girl makes for a potent mix of potential passion. Surprisingly, in a country where practically nobody speaks English, this still isn't a problem for monolingual expats. "You're fucking hot" comments an inebriated friend to a tall brunette, a typically creative Moscow pick-up line. She stops and looks confused. "Fucking... Da." she agrees in broken English, "but Hot... What is?".

In the surreal world of Moscow's high-end nightlife, you could be forgiven for thinking that the only thing a girl is interested in is money. Newcomers to the city are shocked to learn that dating here can cost more than that new Ferrari you’ve been wanting. If you want to date one of these club-going barbie dolls, you might end up "sponsoring" her, paying for her rent, wardrobe, car (& driver, of course!), and lifestyle. Dating even a "regular" girl involves frequent gifts. A girl recently complained that I don't buy her things "It is traditional in Russia to buy things for a girl who you are seeing... Just little things that you think she will like... Chocolates, flowers, diamonds..." she informed me with a straight face. Another friend, slightly frustrated by what he saw as an endless cash outflow for marginal return, complained to a girl that he was tired of sponsoring her. "Sponsoring me?" she cried, "you haven't even bought me a Mercedes!".

If you're chasing girls in high-end clubs, it’s no wonder expats are often more interested in finding short-term companionship than long-term love. You don’t have to deal with the apparent Russian lack of any concept of fidelity, and a combination of an early start, lots of practice, frequent bisexuality and extreme vanity mean Russian girls tend to be great in bed. Their obsession with personal grooming leads to some immaculate results (I didn't see my first pubic hair until I'd been in the country almost 10 months, and she was probably just too young to know the rules), but it pays not to get too attached. After a passionate session with a girl I'd seen several times over a period of weeks, I casually enquired whether a girl had any significant others. "I'm married" she replied, "why, is that important?".

But what the hell, this is Disneyland, and if you're in Disneyland and a giant mouse appears, you just go with it- right?

Max

[Comments and Opinions welcome]

Review: Opera (Опера)

2007-09-10T20:21:00.000+04:00

Opening Hours: Thu/Fri/Sat 12am - last guest

Category: Megaclub, Ultra-Exclusive

Feis Kontrol Rating: Tough- 4/5

Address: 6 Trekhgorny Val Ulitsa, Metro: Ulitsa 1905 Goda

Phone: +7 (495) 205-9822 (General), +7 (495) 643-0564 (Table reservations),

Website: http://www.clubopera.ru/

Club Opera is the third member of the triumvirate of Megaclubs currently ruling Moscow's nightlife. Lambasted by many clubgoers as a has-been only six months after it opened, swarmed by a younger (below 18) crowd, it has stormed back over the Spring and Summer and is is a genuine contender for best Megaclub in Moscow.

Strong DJ's, live performances by a range of celebrities including recently Shakira, and a rocking Thursday night R'n'B night which makes it the place to be on the Thursday has done great things to bringing a great crowd of friendly regulars, great talent, while still maintaining a younger edge than Dyagilev.

The approach to Opera is guarded by a steel corral more suited to a cattle ranch, guarded by hulking security guards in military fatigues. The entrance is manned by one such Neanderthal, while a diminuitive feis kontroller whispers through a microphone to pass judgement on the penned potential patrons who may be permitted to pass. The feis kontrol here is notoriously unpredictable, and seems to take even greater delight in separating couples, friends, and casting out into the night those who don't play by it's arcane feis kontrol rules.

Despite the nasty first impression, it's worth it to continue into the depths of Opera. The lower level contains the coatcheck and a UFO-like interior of strange silvery padded walls. As you wind your way up the staircase, the pumping music starts to move you of its own accord. You emerge at the top of the stairs into the bright sights and sounds that is Opera. The dazzling display makes you think you really have landed on another planet. In front of you in the centre of the room, a circular bar surrounds a platform for dancing girls and shows, around this is a dance floor, and then circles of stairs rise from the pit for more dancing visibility to the outer ring of tables. The focus of the room is a large stage where more dancers gyrate and elaborate productions are staged mid-evening to keep patrons entertained. The DJ booth is a focal point to the front of the stage who holds sway of a more musically attuned crowd than at a venues like Rai.

Overall, Opera is a fantastic club and a great place to go if you want to party with a familiar crowd, and despite this being a notorious pickup joint with gorgeous girls, it's also easier to go and relax by yourself than at Rai or Dyagilev (if you can get past the Feis Kontrol).

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Update: 18/02/2008

Dyagilev's tragedy is Opera's gain! Anka, MoscowMAXIMUM's favourite dancer from Dyagilev, is now strutting her fabulous stuff at Opera!

Review: Bar 7 (Бар Семь)

2007-06-08T13:13:00.000+04:00

Opening Hours: 12pm-last customer, 7 days
Category: Pre-Party, Bar
Feis Kontrol Rating: Moderate- 3/5
Address: Novaya Ploschad 10, Str. 2 (down alley)
M: Lubyanka
Phone: +7 (495) 730-5547
Website: N/A

In 2006 Bar 7 deservedly won "Best Bar" in the Moscow Nightlife Awards, and a Friday night there will show you why. Bar 7 recently celebrated its first birthday, and while it's facing some stiff competition from several newcomers, it's still a fantastic place to meet up with friends and really get into the mood on a weekend evening.

Bar 7 is located just off Lubyanka Ploschad, and is at the end of one of the narrow alleys that punctuate Novaya Ploschad. On a Friday night the huddle of cars and taxis will indicate its location. Once you make it down the alleyway, a reasonably strict but consistent Feis Kontrol will admit you into the bar. An incongruous flatscreen TV greets you as you wind your way past the coatcheck and bathrooms into the bar. Bar 7 is effectively one medium-sized room, with a capacity for not much more than 100 people. The decor is "minimalist baroque", with comfortable old-style sofas and lamps, and a huge chandelier over the bar.

Bar 7 is a pleasant and quiet bar most of the week, but the time to come is on Friday (and to some degree Saturday) evenings around midnight-2am. This is where Moscow's clubbing crowd comes to get into the mood before heading out. Bar 7 is packed, the crowd dances to a familiar mix of russky-pop, top 40, and a healthy dose of old Russian songs remixed for the new millenium. Girls dance on the bar, and there are plenty of fireworks, both metaphoric and real.

The crowd tends to be an upscale mix of Moscow's party people as well as a high proportion of expats. The smaller location allows a more intimate vibe, and it can sometimes feel like a private party, since so many of the people there know each other.

The bar staff are competant and friendly, drinks are strong, although not cheap (especially cocktails), and getting to the bar and then ordering through the legs of the girls dancing on it can sometimes be an entertaining challenge.

It's hard to put a finger on exactly why Bar 7 has such a fantastic atmosphere. A combination of the space, the crowd, the DJ and the sheer sense of fun makes this a genuinely great venue.

Since the recent opening of a number of other pre-party venues (Simichev, Sky Lounge, Bacardi, Most, Soho Rooms to name a few) Bar 7 isn't quite as packed as it used to be, but in some ways this is a positive, since it gives a little more breathing room while maintaining its great vibe.

About the only major complaint I can muster about Bar 7 is that once the crowd is going, it gets really hot in the bar, especially far from the entrance. More powerful air conditioning would do wonders for partygoers comfort levels.

Overall, Bar 7 is a fantastic place to meet up with friends and from where to launch a big Friday night. The crowd is friendly, the drinks are strong, and the music gets you into the dancing mood. The next few months will be key to see whether Bar 7 will maintain a substantial Friday night following or whether its mojo will fade. Stay tuned.

photos: mainpeople.ru

The One About Feis Kontrol (Face Control, Фейс Контроль)

2007-06-07T20:06:00.000+04:00

So... You've heard about the notorious Feis Kontrol at Russian nightclubs? Pretty much all the stories you've heard are true. You basically have to be rich, beautiful, a regular, or know someone to make it into Moscow's top clubs, bars, and even some restaurants.

That said, it's by no means impossible to get through feis kontrol even if you might not approach the Moscow definition of such lofty standards (remember- mullets are still fashionable here, beauty is in the eye of the beholder).

The most reliable way to get through feis kontrol is to book a table at the club (see article), which involves paying several thousand dollars for you and your friends to have a table and eat and drink up to the limit you paid for the table. Access through feis kontrol is a fringe benefit (although not always guaranteed).

If you're not going to spring for a table, suggestions are as follows. Guys should dress well, since unless you're Russian, you're unlikely to be able to pull off "designer grunge" in the unique style of the Russian male. Women should dress as skimpy and Russian-fashionable as possible.

When you approach the door, identify who the feis kontrol guy (or girl) is, talk to them (not security), and let them know you want to come in. Be polite and confident, as you have every right to be in their club. If they ask you for a club card (which you don't have, otherwise you wouldn't be reading this article), it's generally a polite rejection, but state you don't have one but would like to come in. If you're rejected, don't push the issue, leave the club and go to one of Moscow's other nightclubs. Don't argue or give them a negative reason to remember you.

Speaking Russian is a plus, with English as a backup. The days where expats could expect access to top clubs simply by speaking English are long gone, and most feis kontrol guys I know don't speak English. English may still help you get access to 2nd tier places like Sorry Babushka, XIII, Fabrique, etc.

Ratios and numbers are a key issue. Single or pairs of guys or single or pairs of highly attractive girls are more likely to get in than couples or groups. Any more than three "non-clubgoers" are going to have a hard time getting through any door. Feis Kontrol take a perverse pleasure in splitting up couples, especially if they think they can separate them and get the girls (or guys) into the club without their partners.

If you're in Moscow long-term, get to recognise the feis kontrol people, they're often at other clubs late-night (Krysha or Garage are fav. hangouts), and get to know them, that way you're more likely to gain access next time.

Above all, don't take it personally, or too seriously. It's these guys jobs to keep their club desirable and keep people on their toes. Everyone gets "feised" sometimes, so don't let it ruin your night!

Review: Krysha Mira (Крыша Мира)

2007-05-28T21:21:00.000+04:00

Opening Hours: Club: Fri/Sat midnight-very late. Restaurant during the day/early evening
Category: Ultra-Exclusive, Post-Party, Summer
Feis Kontrol Rating: Ultra-Tough- 5/5
Address: Tarasa Shevchenko Nab., along from Hotel Ukraine, in the old Badaevsky factory.
Phone: +7 (495) 203-6008/6556
Website: N/A

Krysha Mira, a stunning rooftop nightclub next to the Moscow River, is Moscow's top club of the moment. It's penchant for secrecy and passcodes, its ultra-tight feis kontrol, and it's inconvenient location have people breathlessly talking about the "legend" of Krysha. In reality, it's a fantastic club with excellent music, great design, a beautiful crowd of interesting people, reasonably priced drinks, and THE place to be for sunrise and beyond on a weekend, but for all that- it is just a nightclub.

To find Krysha, drive along the Tarasa Shevchenko Nab. , passing the Hotel Ukraine on your left. About 500m further on, you'll see some cars parked, and a guy with a clipboard standing at the base of some decrepit metal stairs.

Once through Feis Kontrol, at the top of the stairs is a deserted yard. You must cross the yard, climb more stairs, pass through an unmarked steel door, and climb another unfinished concrete staircase before you even begin to see any indication that you're in a happening nightspot. Is that a coatcheck or some other cruel illusion? Once you eventually reach the second floor the fun begins.

The lower floor of Krysha contains a dimly-lit bar surrounded by lounges, and another corridor leading to an outstanding ruby-lit chillout room with big white divans. The upper floor is where the action is, an airy open space covered by a tented roof and glass walls. The open-air deck is huge, and in summer hosts couches, cabanas, and plenty of places to recline and relax. If relaxing is not your style, excellent DJ's on both floors play a creative mix of house and electronica, with none of the standard Russky-pop or top-40 mixes played at Moscow's Mega-clubs.

Krysha strives to host a more eclectic crowd than other Moscow venues, and to have a slightly "artsy" bent. In practice, this means the usual mix of tall models, Moscow party people, and outsiders who've reserved tables, but also that the crowd tends to be a little older and better dressed than clubs like Opera, and there are more of Moscow's version of an "alternative" crew. In any case, Krysha draws the biggest celebrities, the hottest models, and the who's who of the Moscow nightlife scene, so the people-watching is exceptional.

The bar staff are knowledgable, friendly, and efficient. The drink prices are more reasonable than many clubs, although the cocktail selection (particularly upstairs) is limited.

An evening at Krysha tends to flow in several waves, as the pre-2am lounge scene morphs into a wild club scene around 2-4am, then a slight lull until the real afterparty gets going by 5am (the busiest times at the door are around 4-6am), and the roof is packed with a rocking DJ until well after 10am. The highlight of a night at Krysha is witnessing the sunrise from the roof deck, lounging in a cabana, champagne in hand, watching the first rays of the sun hit the Moscow City towers across the river. The glow of the morning, the bizarre juxtaposition of the river views, the new shining towers, and the dilapidated factory all around you, while shiny happy people rock to the beat of a new day is a defining Moscow experience.

A lot has been said about Krysha's Feis Kontrol, and while it is probably the toughest in the city, it's consistently and fairly applied (at least compared to some places). Krysha has a strict system of entry. A passcode is sent to their list every night, and anyone with the passcode who is on the list is generally admitted. If you're not on this list, have no influential friends already inside, and you're not Krysha's target market, you're likely to be out of luck. Unfortunately, one of my major gripes about this club is that they maintain such strict feis kontrol that the club (especially downstairs) is often left half-empty, while scores of people are turned away.

Apart from that, what's not to like about Krysha? My only other gripe is that the reputation of the club and the uber-strict feis kontrol gives some clubgoers an aura of entitlement, meaning the crowd at Krysha isn't as friendly as some other venues.

Ultimately, Krysha is a fantastic venue and an excellent night out. It provides a welcome alternative to Moscow's Megaclubs, and is the summer nightclub of choice.

photos: moscow-blog.com
Note: Krysha is often transliterated as Krisha Mira. Same place.

Review: Kak Na Kanarakh (Как На Канарах)

2007-05-28T20:16:00.000+04:00

Opening Hours: 7 Days, noon-last guest
Category: Summer, Lounge
Feis Kontrol Rating: Light- 2/5
Address: Pushkinskaya Nab., right next to the Andreevsky pedestrian bridge. M: Leninskiy Prospekt
Phone: +7 (495) 223 1758
Website: N/A

Kak Na Kanarakh ("Just like the Canary Islands") is one of Moscow's first beach clubs to open this summer. It is a floating deck moored just off the Pushkinskaya Nab., with two swimming pools, a delightful open deck area, and a covered dining/lounge area. It's open on almost all sides to spectacular views of the Moscow River and nearby bridge and park.

It's located behind Gorky Park, and can be reached either from Leninskiy Prospekt or over the Andreevsky pedestrian bridge from Frunzenskaya Nab. Either way will require a bit of a walk, unless you have a car and ask the guard (if present) to open the gate for you from Leninskiy Prospect and let them know you're going to Kak Na Kanarakh. Otherwise, you'll have to walk the last half kilometre yourself.

Upon arrival, some sweeping concrete driveways lead you down to a wide open space dotted with tents and lounges and a bar on your left, while on your right lie the scenic portable toilets, and a ramp leading down to the floating pontoons. The first pontoon contains a large covered area of tables and sofas, where people can dine or drink in the shade, while the second contains two good-sized swimming pools and a number of lounges for people to recline and enjoy the sun. The restaurant has an interesting and reasonably priced menu.

Kak Na Kanarakh has been open for a couple of weeks, but had its launch party to announce itself as an evening destination on Saturday.

Unfortunately, it was nothing like the Canary Islands (or maybe it was- in which case I don't plan to be vacationing in the Canary Islands anytime soon).

Given its design and location, Kak Na Kanarakh is destined to become a daytime location to pleasantly while away the hours in the sun, but if it seriously hopes to be an evening venue with any pull, it has a LONG way to go.

To start with, the long walk from Leninsky Prospekt is unlit and I feel sorry for any poor devushka trying to negotiating the hill and distance in her kabluki in the darkness.

The venue lacked any atmosphere whatsoever. While the crowd was a well-connected set of Moscow party people, the faint sounds from a poorly-chosen music mix located on the shore barely penetrated the lounge or pool area, leaving people looking genuinely bored (rather than just affecting boredom).

The bar staff were poorly trained, could not make several basic drinks even early in the evening, and ran out of alcohol completely shortly after midnight.

An ill-placed laser conspired to blind people coming from the lounge to pool area, causing them to nearly fall in the water, while the pools themselves (a perfect location for cool lighting effects) were practically unlit.

Should the music, alcohol, and lighting situation be fixed, there is some hope for Kak Na Kanarakh as an evening venue, and a planned ferry service may assist, but until I hear favorable reviews from those brave enough to make the trek, I'll be staying away.

photos: timeout.ru

Review: Dyagilev (Дягилев)

2007-05-22T20:41:00.000+04:00

Opening Hours: Fri/Sat 12am - ~6am (Sometimes Thu)
Category: Megaclub, Ultra-Exclusive
Feis Kontrol Rating: Tough- 4/5
Address: Karetniy Ryad 3, Sad Hermitage. M: Pushkinskaya/Chekovskaya
Phone: +7 (495)/790-7400
Website: N/A

PLEASE NOTE THAT FOLLOWING A FIRE IN FEBRUARY, 2008, DYAGILEV IS NOW CLOSED.

Dyagilev, the replacement for Leto/Osen/Zima, is nestled in the Hermitage Gardens and is one of the best-known nightclubs on the Moscow club scene. Opened in early 2006, it ruled Moscow's Megaclub scene for over a year and is still going strong. Although challenged by newer upstart Rai and a revitalized Opera, legendary Feis Kontroler Pasha and those incredible Dyagilev promo girls keep the crowds coming.

To get to Dyagilev, enter the main gates of the Hermitage Gardens nestled between the Bulvar and Sadovaya, and veer left, bypassing the garish facade of Parizhskaya Zhizn (Paris Life) to arrive at what looks like the entrance to a shed, watched over by hulking security people and a diminutive character in a hat- the legendary Pasha Face Control.

Pasha has been a legend on the Moscow club scene for years, he has been Feis Kontrol at most "it" nightclubs in Moscow at some point, and to some degree his presence at the club designated what club was "the" Moscow Club. He has graced all of Goroby/Lazarevich's venues (Shambala/Leto/Osen/Zima), as well as JetSet and others. He even has songs written about him.

Those not confident of passing Pasha's scrutiny not only have the ability (as at most clubs) to reserve tables from ~$2,000-$20,000, but they may choose to dine during the week at one of Moscow's trendy restaurants (eg Aist, Indus, Gallereya, Nedalny Vostok) and hope to score an invitation/CD, distributed by Dyagilev's promoters who tour the restaurants. These provide an additional phone number for access to the club for the holder and their guests (although as always, Feis Kontrol has the final say).

If you make it pass Pasha, you'll find yourself in a neverending corridor which ends up in a nondescript circular basement, off which the bathrooms (30RUB- wtf?) and a chill-out room radiate, and twin staircases heading up to the club proper. At this point you'll probably wonder what all the fuss is about.

Upon climbing the stairs, Dyagilev is revealed as a cavernous space (currently decorated in a summer palmtree theme), with a central dancefloor surrounded by tiered levels of tables, the obligatory VIP section, and plenty of perches for scantily-clad dancing girls. The stairs emerge underneath a central catwalk, upon which a mixture of semi-theatrical, acrobatic, or just plain burlesque shows are staged.

Dyagilev is a feast for the senses, a visually rich club with a mixture of see-and-be-seen wide open spaces and tantalizing nooks and crannies. The DJ's play a standard mix of dance, light house, top-40, Russky-pop, and anything that happens to be popular, although occasionally more edgy DJ's are imported. The crowd tends to be a little older, although substantially the same as the other Megaclubs, and they generally opt to dance more and preen less than at Rai.

The Dyagilev crowd is both one of the great positives and negatives about this nightclub. While the crowd is generally gorgeous and friendly, there tend to be way too many flatheads and hookers, not to mention a few of both sexes who are a little too far past their clubbing prime. Additionally, the club pays young models to simply dance and mingle with the crowd, which depending on your point of view, could be regarded as false advertising.

While at Dyagilev, clubbers can expect to be showered with confetti, treated to acrobats and dancing shows, propositioned by a wide range of people of both sexes, and generally have a damn good time.

Ultimately, Dyagilev is one of Moscow's best and most professional nightclubs, with an experienced team providing an excellent night out with a fun and glamorous crowd at an extraordinary venue. While it may have lost some of its edge, there is no clear contender for Dyagilev's crown as best Megaclub, and until Lazarevich opens his next venue, it's a safe bet Dyagilev will be packing in the crowds for some time to come.

photos: 44100.com; geometria.ru

Weekend Debauchery- Andreas' Birthday at Rai

2007-05-22T19:50:00.000+04:00

So, I hadn't wanted to write about Rai a second time before I had made some more posts about other clubs, but Saturday night at Rai deserves an honourable mention, if no for other reason than a "new Moscow" celebration of excess.

It was Andreas' (Rai's creator and promoter) Birthday, and Rai wanted to do something to try and outdo Sinisha Lazarevich (of Dyagilev fame), who celebrated his birthday a couple of weeks ago. The first sign that something was seriously different was the hundreds-deep throngs of people out the front of the club, which was ill-equipped to handle the masses of people trying to get into the party. The beautiful people who weren't cool enough to use the VIP entrance were pulled through the crowds by a harried (but under the circumstances pretty impressive) tag-team effort by Feis Kontrol and Security.

It's a Moscow spectacle, and quite spellbinding to see hordes of tall, scantily-clad, gorgeous girls clawing at each other and shoving to get entry to an old factory. If you value your life, do NOT get in their way.

Upon entry, Andreas was holding court, pontificating for the assembled adulating masses, flanked by 20 tall blondes on each side (and a token black girl- I guess even Moscow goes for diversity occasionally).

Things proceeded to get rapidly more entertaining (and horrifying) once Andreas stripped down to his shorts and jumped into the pool with a dozen strippers from the Office. I don't know that words can really add anything to these photos.

Photos: geometria.ru

Moscow Nightclubbing 101

2007-05-18T20:11:00.000+04:00

Moscow's nightclub scene is varied and absolutely incomparable. While the city can't boast of a particularly innovative or edgy live music scene, when it comes to clubbing, Moscow has no peer.

In all facets of life, Moscow is all about "more". Whatever is biggest, most expensive, most exclusive, or most beautiful is "it", and nowhere expresses this better than Moscow's club scene. The over-the-top decoration, acrobats and dancing girls of Rai, Dyagilev and Opera, and the secrecy and exclusivity of Krysha and Gazgolder are testimony to the success of this strategy.

Thankfully, if strutting Barbie Dolls and middle-aged wannabe oligarchs aren't your thing, there are plenty of other fun places to get down and party (Fabrique, Propaganda, Sorry Babushka, Vodka Bar, Garage and Karma Bar, to name a few) .

Unlike some cities (notably New York), Moscow is not a seven-days-a-week party city. You can find some fun on Thursday, and occasionally Wednesday or Sunday, but you're mostly out of luck (please email me if you know otherwise) other nights of the week. Thankfully, Moscow more than makes up for it on Friday & Saturday nights, with parties going well until mid-morning, and leaving clubs around midday is not unusual.

On a typical Moscow weekend, people dine late, around 9 or 10pm. Some "in" restaurants are visited by promoters from some of the Megaclubs to distribute flyers or CD's, which promote whichever parties they are holding that weekend, and which can also act as invites to assist with passing Feis Kontrol (more about this later). Around midnight, people often head to a pre-party bar (popular options include Bar 7, Indus, and Sorry Babushka) to meet up with friends and get into the clubbing mood.

At some point, either at the restaurant, pre-party bar, or at a nightclub, you're going to have to deal with Feis Kontrol (Face Control), basically the guy who decides if you look beautiful, cool, or wealthy enough to go into their club. These guys can be brutal, separating friends, couples, or just simply denying entry. More on Feis Kontrol in another post, but be ready with a backup plan if you're planning to hit a tough Feis Kontrol venue (see my Feis Kontrol rating's included in reviews). If you are asked for a "Club Card", this is often their polite way of not letting you in.

Most clubs open their doors around 12am, so most people plan to hit their first club around 2am, once things start to get busy. Depending on the scene, the party, or where your friend's are, you may wish to go to other clubs too. Most places start to wind down (and refuse new entry) around 5am, but won't actually close until 7am or later. Exceptions include Krysha, Garage, and Mix, who really only start to get going around 4/5am, and will go much, much later.

Virtually no Moscow clubs charge cover, but in any of the megaclubs or ultra-exclusive places, you can plan to pay anywhere from 350-550 rubles ($15-27) for a beer or simple mixed drink, so it is not a cheap lifestyle.

Many a Moscow clubbing night ends up at one of Moscow's many 24-hours cafes, popular choices for post-club dining include Cafe Courvoisier, Starlight Diner, Etazh, and many more. Once you've drunk, eaten, and copulated more than you thought humanly possible, it's time for a few hours sleep before getting up on Saturday to do it all again, or on Sunday to figure out what happened to all your money and brace yourself for the coming week...

Review: Rai (Рай)

2007-05-17T22:10:00.000+04:00

Opening Hours: Fri/Sat 12am - ~7am
Category: Megaclub, Ultra-Exclusive
Feis Kontrol Rating: Tough- 4/5
Address: Bolotnaya Nab., 9. M: Polyanka, Kropotkinskaya (neither very convenient)
Phone: +7 (495)/364-0101, 767-1474, 230-0035
Website: http://www.clubrai.ru/

The name of this club in Russian means “Paradise”, and apart from the drink prices, this place can come pretty close to it on the right nights. Moscow’s newest mega-club (opened Feb 2007) is also one of it’s largest, and it packs a big crowd.

In a city that defines opulence and over-the-top design, Rai outdoes them all. Rai is club promoter Andreas’ brainchild, and it’s evident from the clubs interior he has an active imagination! Rai is located in a large tent-like structure on the Bolotnaya Naberezhnaya, and unless you feel particularly compelled to crawl past the entrance and gawk, or have a particularly demanding devushka on your hands who doesn’t want to walk, you’re better off getting out of your vehicle on Serafimobicha Ulitsa and walking down the embankment.

Fighting your way past crowds and strict but consistent Feis Kontrol, you’ll find yourself in Heaven, the entrance bar to the larger club, Rai, which is located behind a further set of doors (and sometimes another set of Feis Kontrol). To your left is Elysium, an event space which to date doesn’t seem to be heavily used.

Heaven is a spectacle in itself, with a long bar on one wall wrapping around a façade on which is mounted an enormous serpent, as well as cavorting naked nymphs and mermaids. On the opposing wall, ubiquitous dancing girls frolick above the bathrooms, which are numerous and spacious enough to the varied requirements of every patron. A narrow bench and some tables wrap themselves around the walls, providing a welcome and (rarely for Moscow) free place to sit for a while and get to know your new friends a little better.

In another place, Heaven would be a perfectly adequate and interesting bar in itself, however it pales into insignificance next to Rai. Pass through the doors into Rai, and Paradise reveals itself. Rai is an assault on the senses, from the sheer size of the club, the lasers reflecting off the thousands of mirrored surfaces and otherworldly shapes, the semi-naked (male & female) dancers, acrobats, fire-breathers, unicorns, elephants, and more. A raised stage lies in the centre of the main floor, upon which various dance sets, quasi-striptease, and occasionally credible live acts appear. A lower row of tables rings the dancefloor, and a series of upper balconies hosts more of the same, as well as the requisite VIP section towards the far end of the room. A series of consistently decent (although with some variability) DJ’s play a solid but fairly unadventurous mix of modern Russky-pop and dance hits.

Of course, one person’s Paradise is another’s Hell, and Rai is far from perfect. Aside from the afore-mentioned drink prices (Rai may not be the most expensive drinks in Moscow, with a basic beer or mixed drink around 500R ($20), and prices going significantly higher from there, but it does stand out in my mind), my most significant complaint is that while Rai certainly attracts the beautiful people of Moscow (the same tusovka often frequent Dyagilev, Opera, etc), the vibe often seems more akin to the now-closed First, where people seemed more inclined to stand around checking each other rather than getting down dancing, drinking and having a good time. Additionally, the sheer size of Rai means that it needs a LOT of people to make it seem full, and Feis Kontrol have been known to be a little more lenient early in the evening just to fill the club, and things don’t really get jumping with the requisite talent until around 3am, well after some of its competition. Finally, for a brand-new club designed by an experienced team, Rai’s design has its flaws. Tables on the upper VIP balcony can feel so far from the action it’s like you’re in outer Siberia, while the narrow and long design of the main dancefloor mean that people are constantly crowding past each other (partly intentional), and leave limited space to dance without being (unnecessarily) jostled.

Overall, Rai is an outstanding addition to Moscow’s megaclub scene and is a must-see if you’re visiting Moscow. If you live here and enjoy Dyagilev, Opera, or First (RIP), chances are you’ll find some things to like at Rai.

photos: 44100.com; cityparty.ru

Welcome to MoscowMAXIMUM

2007-05-17T21:27:00.000+04:00

Welcome to MoscowMAXIMUM. As a longtime Moscow resident and an avid fan of its outstanding nightlife, I thought an up-to-date guide to Moscow's clubland would be a valuable addition to a city where "the" place to be can vary from week-to-week.

People unfamiliar to the scene ask many questions about the best places to go, how to get in, and other Moscow nightlife rituals that seem bizarre to clubgoers in NY, London, Buenos Aires and other nightlife centers. I hope to be able to shed some light (or at least one person's warped opinion) on these pressing subjects.

MoscowMAXIMUM doesn't plan to review strip clubs or hooker bars (even Night Flight). These are well-advertised enough elsewhere. While stripping, sex, and payments for both occur in most venues reviewed, these are (generally) not the primary source of revenue for these clubs.

I hope MoscowMAXIMUM is a useful reference for you. Any thoughts, comments, suggestions, feedback, or ideas for places to review or topics to cover, please email moscowmaximum@gmail.com.

Max