It's Christmas Eve, after midnight, snowing, and approximately -15C. How do we find some fun? Did someone say "waterslide"?
The logical answer, of course, is to head several km outside of Moscow to an (indoor) waterslide park, where there is a wild party with DJ's, dancing girls, and of course hundreds of people enjoying the waterslides, tubes, jacuzzis, wave pool, waterfalls, and of course- the music and alcohol.
Those looking for a example of the delightful randomness of Moscow could do worse than to lie back in the wave pool letting a fountain wash over you and observe the undulations of the dancers clad in club lingerie surrounded by shrieking young quasi-Muscovites hurtling down the python-like multicoloured tubes and consider how this all came to pass. Parties at waterslide parks are not exactly a new concept, but to do so beyond the city limits from 1am on Xmas morning, having transported the essence of a Moscow club to this godforsaken location, in the middle of a Russian winter? That's true Moscow innovation.
Aquapark Kva-Kva is located 2km past the MKAD on Yaroslavskoe Shosse, inside the XL shopping centre. It's a multi-story indoor waterpark housing no end of entertainment, with multiple caves, tubing pools, fountains, jacuzzis, and of course the requisite multi-story waterslides. My personal favourite was the wave pool surrounded by various fountains and jacuzzi's, which was the perfect location to dance, (attempt to) surf, or just observe or socialise with the hordes of enraptured water-clubgoers.
From this vantage point, the whole scene looked something like a Full Moon Party in Thailand that had somehow been kidnapped by giant orange and green snakes, and dumped in a snowy wasteland, the tropical location, cheap drinks, and lack of full moon at least somewhat offset by the abundance of scantily-clad devushki, the likes of which would inspire riots on Ko Phi Phi Beach.
The parties here are held fairly regularly, look for upcoming events on a site such as nightparty. The logistics of finding the place, getting tickets, entry, and sorting out lockers, deposits, etc, mean that I would strongly recommend having a competent Russian-speaker with you.
The crowd tends to be very young, and doesn't quite match the aesthetics of central Moscow, and the line at the bar means getting drinks is an absolute pain. However, it's a delightfully random night out, and if you're bored of the regular scene and are looking for something to remind you why you live in this wonderfully crazy country, I highly recommend it.