Review: G-Club (Г-Клуб)

Opening Hours: 11am-midnight Mon-Wed, 11am-6am Thu-Sun.
Category: Bar, Mid-Range
Feis Kontrol Rating: Low- 2/5
Address: 4/1 1st Avtozavodsky Per.
M: Avtozavodskaya
Phone: +7 (495) 710-2991
Website: N/A

Note: Please note my caveats regarding out-of-centre venues here.

This unfortunate excuse for a nightclub looks like the designers started working with a Flintstones meets Il Patio theme, then ran out of budget half-way into the club and fitted out some spare mall space and installed a disco ball and dancer cages.

The whole mess was then dropped somewhere outside the 3rd ring at the end of an alley in a carpark, almost as if an embarrassed wannabe club mogul was trying to make it as difficult as possible to actually go there (come to think of it, maybe it IS just a money-laundering scene).

G-Club is positioned as a "Glamour" club, like Dyagilev, but needless to say falls significantly short of the mark. Even at 2am on a Saturday, the place was mostly empty, but a sparse, evenly mixed crowd admittedly seemed to be having a good time.

The music is essentially a mix of Russky-pop greatest hits (think of the most popular Russian remixes you heard at Dyagilev a year ago all in a row), which while fun to sing along to, isn't the most creative mix I've heard. Drink prices are moderate, but for such a venue, you'd expect them to be cheaper.

G-Club has a highly exclusive VIP section upstairs looking down on the main dance foodcourt, um, I mean dancefloor, but apparently the wide pinstripe-besuited security gentleman thought I was patently too uncool to be let up there.

If for some reason you're trapped in Avtozavodskaya and you can't get into Zona, then G-Club is not the most objectionable way I can think of to pass the time, but I can think of few reasons beyond that to return there anytime soon. I personally will try and return sometime in the next month or so (I fear it may be closed thereafter) to re-review (just in case I caught it on a bad night), but I fear the misplaced Aztec symbols in the fake stucco will be haunting me in my dreams for some time to come.