Saturday 13 June 2009

Review: Forbes Club (Форбс Клуб)

Note: At the time of publishing, Forbes has been "temporarily" closed and management is rumoured to be being replaced by Deluxe Promo (Opera, Soho, etc). Stay tuned.

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Opening Hours: Fri/Sat 11pm-last customer
Category: Ultra-Exclusive, Nightclub
Feis Kontrol Rating: High - 4/5 (tempered by size of club)
Address: Maroseyka, 2 (entrance from alley next to Lubyanskiy Proezd, 15)
M: Lubyanka, Kitay Gorod
Phone: +7 (495) 234-3322

Website: http://www.forbesclub.ru/

In a city packed with Megaclubs, Forbes is an attempt to create an Uberclub. A cavernous underground labyrinth, Forbes is crammed with superlatives, whether it's the 28 VIP tables, 11 bars, 4 levels of VIP, 10sqm bathroom cubicles replete with their own plasma, couch & facing double toilets, for that couple who just can't be apart for even a few minutes.

What Forbes often isn't crammed with, however, is people, and when it is, they all seem to be standing around waiting for something to happen. Because unfortuntely, in these crisis-ridden times, the club designers seemed to have overlooked the need for patrons to have fun and enjoy themselves.

Kind of like its sense of fun, Forbes can be hard to find. An original entrance off Maroseyka was boarded up, and now patrons gain access via a narrow lane off Lubyanskiy Proezd, 15. Other than the obligatory carpark of Cayennes and a cluster of stilletto-clad sparkles, nothing indicates you've arrived at Moscows answer to Hades. A glance inside the vaulted tent, however, shows Feis Kontrol specially imported from Soho, letting would-be patrons know they've bitten off more than a weekly jaunt to Propaganda. 

The Feis's legendary strict door policies are hampered by Forbes sheer size, meaning pretty much all comers are considered, and given Moscow's current financial state, even foreigners are not considered the scum they once were at Moscow's top doors.

Once through the entrance, you find yourself in a black-panelled antechamber, with everyone wondering which of several small corridors head where. The answer is that one heads to bathrooms, one to another coat-check, and the club complex itself lies down the staircase to the left.

I say club complex, because if you get bored (easily), once of the lost rewarding things to do in Forbes is explore the various subterranean tunnels branching off the main room, and seeing how many hidden bars you can find, and how many various levels of VIP security you can elude.

The club itself though, as you enter down the staircase, is visually impactful. A sizeable dancefloor/stage area is ringed by several layers of VIP tables, each more VIP than the next. The decor is best described as "shiny black", as the overall black & silver interior and abundance of steel & chrome reflect all that glitters (which is plenty). It's as if the designers of Famous had a tonne of interior fittings left over, and decided to use them on a place 5x the size.

The sound system is impressive, and it pumps out a steady mix of Russkiy pop house, or whatever one-hit-wonder happens to have been lured to the club that evening.

Drink prices are high, but not excessive given the nature of the club, and overall, on a good night with the right attitude, Forbes can indeed be fun. 

As Moscow's newest "it" place, Forbes is still busy with Moscows "in" crowd, but a lot of them have already reverted to Pacha or Soho.

If you're intent to head to a huge club and pay that much for drinks, I'd rather be at Rai, since the visuals are so much richer and they don't take themselves as seriously. Unfortunately, I don't think many of Moscow's glitterati would agree with me.